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Fourteen fucking days.
Too fucking long.
I’ve called her a couple of times. Texted, too. Nothing personal; just checking to make sure she’s okay. I don’t leave messages when she doesn’t answer, which, so far, I’m batting a big old zero. Not once has she answered when I called.
I’m an ass. I know I am.
Breaking things off with her was the right thing to do, but I could have been nicer about it. Instead, I made accusations that I could see broke her heart, but my mouth wouldn’t fucking stop.
When I text, which has been about every other day, she’s responded twice. One-word replies. Yes or no. That’s all I get from her. She’s not the only one suffering here. Until Bunny, I’d never known love like that, which meant I’d never experienced heartbreak.
I sure as shit feel it now.
Eight-fucking-teen. I still can’t believe it.
Ava was pissed.
Not at Bunny. Oh, no, my baby sister was pissed at me. She grew even angrier when I told her what I’d said and how I allowed her to leave. She insisted that age was just a number and had no effect on experience. And I know from comments Bunny has made that she’s had a hard life. She’s not some immature girl looking for a thrill with an older man.
What we had was genuine. It was special. It should have lasted for fucking ever. Wiping a hand down my face, I’m unsure if I can beg her to return to me. Morally, I don’t think I should, but, man…fuck…I crave her goodness. Her sweet smiles. Her innocent moans.
Fuck.
I can’t be thinking about shit like that.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck.
“You’re going to break that,” Jack mutters as he walks past. I look down at the spark plug in my hand and notice my white-knuckle grip. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m saying it anyway. You’re a fucking dick, and you don’t deserve her.”
Shocked at his words, I stand up too quickly and whack my head off the hood of the truck I’m working on. “Fuck! What the hell, man?”
“Your cousin is a fucking dick, and he did that on purpose. He poked the bear, and you fucking roared at the wrong person.” His arms are crossed over his chest as he stares me down, feet spread apart like he’s waiting on me to attack.
“What the hell do you know?” I mutter. I’m not in the mood for this shit.
“Seriously? I know you had a good thing going. Yeah, she’s fucking young, maybe too young, but let me ask you this; if you met her in six weeks, after her graduation, would your attitude still be the same?” I open my mouth to say yes, but I realize maybe that’s not so true. I don’t know if I’d feel the same.
What bothers me most is that she was underage just twenty-four hours before I met her.She was seventeen just the day before.And if I’m totally honest, I’m more aggravated about the fact that I didn’t even know it was her birthday. She never said a damn word, and now, I have to wait a whole other year before I can celebrate her.
Fuck.
I’m still contemplating a future with her. Which can only mean that the answer to Jack’s question is no; I wouldn’t be bothered in six weeks, so why the fuck am I bothered now? She’s technically an adult. And I know she’s smart enough to follow her own mind. She knows what she wants in life; we talked about that shit. Her head is on straight.
Straighter than mine, it seems, because I’m a fucking idiot.
Retrieving my phone, I notice she hasn’t responded to my text from this morning, asking how she is. So, I shoot her another one.
Me: Come over tonight, I wanna talk.
There’s no response, so I have no idea if she will, but I’m going to proceed as though she’s said yes because I need to see her. Talk to her. Hold her.
I just fucking need her.
* * *
I’ve been sitting on my front porch since I got home at six in the hopes she’d show. It’s after nine now, and I’m wondering if she had to work, and that’s why she can’t be here. Around ten, I notice headlights beaming down my street, and for a quick second, my heart skips, praying it’s her.
As the Land Rover pulls to a stop in front of my house, I realize it’s not her but Roman instead—the brother-in-law who most likely hates me after the way he found her when he picked her up.
