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“Reality can’t be as crazy as the things going through my head.”
It was a quarter mile or so before he gave in. “Well, first, Felisha—that’s her name—laughed like a horse.”
“Come again?”
“When she laughed, it sounded like a hysterical horse neighing.”
“Show me,” I said, trying hard to keep a straight face.
“I’m not going to laugh like a fucking horse. Imagine a horse neighing. Now imagine that sound coming out of a woman.”
“So just don’t make her laugh. You’re not that funny of a guy. Should’ve been fine.”
He shot me a look that said if he had more energy, he’d slug me.
“You are kinda funny-looking, I guess,” I said. “What about strike two?”
“She’s obsessed with selfies.”
“She’s young. Aren’t they all?”
“I was talking to her and her friend for a few minutes, and I kid you not, she must’ve taken twenty-five selfies.”
I let that sink in. “A little excessive, but maybe she was documenting her vacation.”
“Six of them she forced me into before I said no more.”
My brows shot up. “Okay. That’s a red flag.”
“All I could think was, who knows where my mug is going to show up. Would she do that when we were naked?”
“Last thing you need is a sex tape going around.” I couldn’t help laughing some more, because leave it to Jake to pick the crazy ones.
“Jesus.”
“What was strike three?”
He shuddered visibly. “Not two minutes after I sat down next to her, she referenced destiny or some shit, saying fate had likely brought me to her side.”
I narrowed my eyes, thinking it must’ve been a joke, because who said stuff like that to someone they’d just met in a crowded bar? “Was she serious?”
“As a heart attack. Within five minutes, she was sure the stars had led us to each other.”
“She said that?”
“Direct quote.”
“Looney tunes.”
“Oh, it got better. Before I could use the john excuse and disappear, she’d used the wordssoul mateandkismet.”
I let out a howl of laughter. “Sounds like you were two breaths from living happily ever after with your fated mate.”
“Happy birthday to me, right?”
“So you left after that? Or did you keep looking for Ms. Birthday Wish?”
“Neither. I gave up the hunt. I may be traumatized for life.” He swiped the sweat on his forehead with the hem of his tee. “I stayed and played darts with Dylan, Levi, and Betsy Ballantine. Which means I was there after you left with Ava.”
