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Just go to sleep, Nate.
But I can’t.
I have to know.
Climbing out of bed, I throw on some sweats and walk out into the hallway, my steps silent as I adjust the drawstring on my waistband. Grabbing the handle on the door next to mine, I push down, my jaw ticking when it doesn’t budge.
He locked it.
He actually locked it.
I don’t know why I’m pissed all of a sudden.
This is what I wanted, isn’t it?
So why does it feel like I just lost something?
12
XAVI
College fucking sucks.
Classes started today, and I’m already regretting my decision to come here and try to get back to my life—or what’s left of the mess I made of it, at least.
Not only am I a freshman, I’m also the new kid on campus, because I was too much of a fuckup to start in September with everybody else.
It’s harder than I thought it’d be, having no friends and no desire to make new ones.
I'm studying business, just like my dad’s always wanted me to. I’ve always wished I was good at something else—anything else just to spite him—but I’m not, so business it is.
I’m finally done for the day, but I’m not going back to the house yet. It feels wrong, being there alone. Partly because it’s not mine, but also because the place is huge and kind of creepy. It freaks me out, feeling like I’m being watched all the time. Like there’s something waiting around every corner, waiting to jump out on me and scratch my eyes out.
I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, keeping my head down as I make my way through the crowd and down the stairs. I planned on going to the library to study after class got out, but I’m not feeling it anymore. I haven’t eaten since last night, so I decide to walk across the courtyard and grab something from the coffee shop next to the music building.
My chest aches when I spot the group of girls around my age walking by me with their instruments. If things were different, Katy could have been right there with them.
All her life, all she wanted to do was sing. And she was damn good at it too. She had this raspy, powerful voice that sent chills down my spine every time I heard it. I told her every chance I got that she’d make it someday, and I would be right there with her, always.
God, I fucking miss her.
I push through the door of the coffee shop and step inside. It’s busy in here, but the line moves surprisingly quickly. It doesn’t take long before I’m holding a steaming hot cup of coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. I thank the barista and turn around, freezing when I find Frankie sitting at a table in the corner with a guy and a girl I haven’t seen before. Of course the only empty table in here is the one right next to hers. I consider bailing, but she’s already caught me, one of those perfect little eyebrows of hers raised in a silent challenge. I’ll look like an idiot and a pussy if I run out of here now.
Walking over, I drop down into one of the seats and take the lid off my coffee, scrolling through my phone as I blow on it to cool it. I try to mind my own business, but it’s kind of hard when I can hear everything they’re saying.
“Do you know him?” the girl asks, talking to Frankie, I’m guessing, but I don’t hear her say anything back. “Damn, he’s fine. Does he have a girlfriend?”
“He can hear you, big mouth,” the guy mock whispers, and a small smile creeps across my lips as I bite off a piece of my muffin.
“Hey. Emo boy,” she calls, and I turn my head to look her way, trying not to laugh when she smirks and wiggles her brows at me. “Hi.”
I wave and lick the chocolate from my lips before I answer. “Hi.”
“Oh fuck me, he’s adorable.” She feigns a groan, grabbing her wallet before she moves to stand behind me, leaning over with her hands on the back of my chair. “I’m Taylor.”
“I’m Xavi.”
“Can I have your number, Xavi?”
