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3
KASPIAN
Quin doesn’t come home until fifteen past midnight. I made it back an hour before he did, stewed in my anger until I heard his truck, then I climbed into bed and pretended to be asleep.
It took me a little while to find him after he took off. He had a head start, after all, but I eventually caught up. The bar I went to is south of us. It’s basically a small cabin with liquor, and the only patrons are the people that live nearby. Which is saying something, because the nearest town is about six miles away, and there’s nothing in between.
Seward’s a port town with a few places to sit and have a drink, but Quin bypassed the spots people usually go and instead went to a lodge. I found his truck parked in the lot and made sure to pull into a space that wasn’t visible from the building.
I know the lodge has a bar, and it makes sense for someone like Quin to go there than to any other drinking spot. There’s less people and less noise, and he’s told me about coming here before. That’s the thing about couples, you eventually learn their likes and dislikes, their routines and favorite places to eat and drink, and it makes it easier to find them when they try to run away from you.
As I was in the lot, all I needed to know was if he was meeting someone. Maybe the guy from our work.
How ballsy of him to try to fuck around with someone we both work with.
Okay, I don’t know if he’s fucking around. It doesn’t seem like his nature, but what’s the nature of a psychopathic serial killer? It’s not like he has a moral compass pointing him to all good decisions.
I was able to cross the quiet parking lot and get to the front of the building. There was a tiny window in the thick wooden door where I peeked inside. I couldn’t see anything but a wall, so I went back to the truck and waited.
He came out alone, and I breathed a sigh of relief. And then he pulled his phone from his pocket and started talking to someone who was not me as he walked to his truck. The entire time, he had a smile on his face—like he didn’t just leave me in bed with a hard cock and full balls.
I had to wait there, watching the back of his truck as he had a conversation for ten minutes at eleven-thirty at night.
Once he drove off, I waited a couple minutes and did the same. I wasn’t sure if he was going straight home or if he had other plans, but I couldn’t take the chance of not being there when he arrived, so I sped down the highway, turning off on a side road that most people don’t take because it’s riddled with potholes, and made it home.
Based on when he finally came in, he didn’t come straight back, but I’ll do better next time. Next time I’ll know everything.
I kept the door to our bedroom open, so I hear him as he warms up his plate of food and as he sits on the couch and turns on the TV. I hear him when he gets up and washes the dishes by hand before putting them away. His steps make light padding noises as he ascends the stairs and uses the bathroom. The click of the remote lets me know he’s back and turning the TV off. And finally, the dip of the mattress gives me the pleasure of knowing that even after everything, he still wants to sleep next to me.
I wait, staring at the wall, my back to him.
His arm snakes around my waist, and I nearly wiggle into him with a moan. Instead, I smile and continue pretending I’m asleep.
“I know you’re awake, Kaspian,” he whispers against my neck.
I bite down on my lip but don’t respond.
“You think I don’t know you?” he questions, his hand splayed across my lower stomach, moving up my chest. “I know your breathing patterns. I know when you’re asleep. I know when you’re faking it.” His hand reaches my throat. “I know when you’re angry. I know when you’re horny. And it’s all based on the breaths you take.” He squeezes my throat and turns me to my back, staring into my eyes.
“I was just waiting to see if you’d come to bed with me.”
“Mm.” He sounds like an animal huffing. “When have I not shared a bed with you? We’ve had our fair share of disagreements.”
“I know.”
“And I’m always here. With you. Tell me why.”
I stare into his dark, soulless eyes and try to find words. This isn’t the first time we’ve been here. He’s aware of how I get. I need his attention and assurance, and he’s not good at giving it to me, so when he doesn’t, I act out. He always knows how to rein me back in, though.
“Because you can’t exist without me,” I say.
His lips pull up on one end. “Then what are you worried about?”
I don’t tell him the truth. I bite back the words that threaten to crawl up my throat and spew from my lips, because admitting that I heard him with that guy after work means I’m throwing my plan away.
The night I heard him with another man, I was going to find someone to bring home for him, but then my thoughts got muddled. My anger took over. My attention is now on finding out who this man is, getting to know him, and making Quin find us together as he’s overcome with jealousy.
“You know how I get,” I say instead.
