AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I–” I expect him to switch back to snark and spite, but his soft, pale eyebrows pull together in confusion. “I didn’t–” Working his jaw, he fixes his eyes on a rabbit sniffing around the edges of the landscaping. “Then why did you do this to me? Is it just some massive fuck you, to prove that I mean nothing to anyone?” His voice cracks. “If so, man, you win, because I don’t want to play anymore.”
When he grabs the door handle with one hand and the strap of his backpack with the other, I instinctively hit the lock button on my door like an actual serial killer. “Wait. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”
“Then why did you do it?”
I have no idea. It all made some kind of sense, when my hands were on him in the dark, listening to him come apart. It felt right in a way nothing has for a long time. But I have to stop getting attached and giving pieces of myself away, or I’ll have nothing left. I don’t realize that I didn’t answer Darius until he lets out a tiny, broken sound, staring at his lap.
“You don’t even have an answer.” He swipes roughly at his eyes.
“Hey.”
I cup the side of his neck and pull his forehead to my shoulder, leaning awkwardly out of my seat. One of his hands slides across and splays against my thigh, his thumb brushing up under my button-down shirt to find the edge of my skin. Cradling him there, I push up the sleeve of his t-shirt to see faint bruising along his shoulder. He makes a sound when I press my lips to the hurt skin. His hand brushes all the way under my shirt now, exploring the topography of my side. I kiss along each inch of his soft, twitching shoulder, and I can hear the slightest edge of pain in his breathing.
Sitting up, I turn his face toward mine. We’re close enough that all I can think about is whether his chapped lips would taste sharp like his cruelty or sweet like his surrender. “Darius, I don’t think you should swim today.”
He yanks away, face going blank. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Tell me about your shoulder.”
His body squares off, like he’s daring me to hit him. “No. Not unless you make me.”
“Darius…”
He holds up two fingers in my face, imitating my tone from last night. “You have two choices. You can make me, or you can fuck off.”
“No. I don’t accept those options. You know I’m right.”
Stubborn and distraught, he shakes his head. “Make me, Tate. Please.”
“No. That’s not how real life works.”
Grabbing the door again, he flips the lock and shoves it open. “Then what’s the fucking point of you being here?”
I stare after him as he stalks inside. It’s a good question, one I’ve been asked before. One I haven’t figured out the answer to, even after months of “working on myself” or whatever self-help buzzwords promise to help my life make sense.
Taking out my phone, I dial Alek.
“I have to have surgery on my foot,” he grouses instead of saying hello. “So you’d better be calling to make my day better.”
“Darius’ shoulder hasn’t healed. Can you call him and tell him not to swim? Maybe he’ll listen to you.”
There’s a startled silence. “But he got the green light to compete again.”
“From whom? Himself? You? A random teammate saying ‘seems okay to me’? Did he ever show you a letter from the team doctor, or any doctor at all?”
“Shit.” He sighs. “He won’t listen to me either. He knows another medical leave will fuck up his career.”
In spite of myself, I get out of the truck and cross the parking lot into the tall, oak foyer of the facility, echoing with splashing and voices. “Do you think I can talk to Coach?” I’d rather not face my old team right now, but I’d do it for him. I can’t believe the fool is going to put his career in jeopardy over a fucking charity meet, not even a qualifier for some other competition.
“Tate.” When I don’t respond, Alek repeats my name, louder. “He’s a twenty-three-year-old professional swimmer. You can’t barge into the locker room like a mom demanding to speak to her kid’s teacher.”
“Does he have family? Do you know if they’re here?”
“I don’t think he’s on speaking terms with his family.”
“Then what do I do?”
“What happened to wanting to kill this guy?”
