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“So what am I doing here then?” I repeated, leaning my hip against the counter next to him and folding my arms over my chest.
“I told you. I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to know everything you’ve been doing, everything you’ve done, everything you want to do. We lost ten years because of stupid circumstances and the fact neither of us was man enough to open our mouths when it mattered.”
Wordlessly, I slid between his thighs and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in the side of his neck. He smelled clean and fresh, like the greenery all around us with a touch of spice. He smelled like home.
He hugged me tightly. “I love you, Aaron. I’ve always loved you. In every possible way.”
“Even though you shouldn’t?” I pulled back as he ran a hand through my mess of dark hair, attempting to tilt my face toward his. “Even though it’s wrong?”
“Do you really think it’s wrong?” His eyes tightened at the corners, like he was the one bracing for rejection this time.
“You don’t?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“No? Just like that?”
“Just like that. Is it unconventional? Sure. But I stopped caring what people think about me a long time ago. Life is too damn short. And if I get a second chance with you, I’m gonna fucking take it.”
I could hardly wrap my head around everything that had happened throughout the day, let alone what he was saying now. It had to be exhaustion, urging me to flee. Or the whisper of my father’s voice—reminding me I wasn’t good enough for anyone or anything. Even my own mother couldn’t love me, which is why she left me with the asshole instead of taking me with her. I wasn’t worth anyone’s time, or effort, or love. That’s why they all left in the end, Alex and Heather included.
“I should go,” I said, pulling away from Alex. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”
“Stay,” Alex said softly. “Please? It’s late and you look beat. I don’t want you driving like this. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Yeah. Sure. Ok.” Frankly, I was too tired to argue after the day I’d had. It didn’t seem to get me anywhere with him anyway. And yet he said I was the stubborn one.
After Alex put fresh sheets on the bed, he gave me a shy little smile and an awkward one-armed hug. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Goodnight.”
His smile brightened a bit before he drifted away to the living room, turning off the lights. Once the loft was dark, he settled on the overstuffed beige sectional, true to his word.
I exhaled softly and stared at the soaring ceiling overhead. What the hell had happened in the universe today? Valentine’s Day was the worst. The absolute worst. And yet… did an over-priced, consumer-driven holiday for sappy schmucks really bring Alex back into my life? Was there some fat little angel flying around shooting people in the ass with arrows?
Whatever the fuck it was, I thanked my lucky (or unlucky) stars that I was getting a do-over.
* * *
For the first time in I don’t know when, I woke up after the sun was already high in the sky. The smell of butter frying and a knife chopping only added to the confusion. I rubbed the heel of my hand in my eye and sat up slowly, taking in my foreign surroundings. Memories of the night before came back to me and what seemed like a weird-as-fuck dream was slowly sinking in as reality.
Right as a flutter of nerves ran through my stomach, I saw Alex in the kitchen, shirtless, standing at the stove.
I crept out of bed and made my way toward him. “What are you doing?”
He smiled brightly, lighting up the whole room more than the sunshine streaming in the oversized windows. “Making you breakfast. Well, brunch, I guess.”
“Why?”
“You feed everyone else, but who cooks for you?”
I didn’t have a ready answer for him, mainly because I’d been on my own for so long.
Since I didn’t say anything, he nudged me out of the way of his prep area. “Sit.”
“Let me help.”
“Afraid I’ll mess it up?” he teased with a grin.
