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A thinning of her lips was her only reaction. Crossing over to me, she took the box from my grip and headed back to the reception desk. I dropped my gaze, studying my phone. It had been a long time since I’d used this one. I had a new phone now, but this one…this one held memories. Photos. My social media accounts that I’d never installed on my new phone.
My finger hovered over the social media folder, and then I forced myself to look. Notifications began flashing up on the screen, too many for me to take in. I scrolled down, scanning over the names. People I barely knew wanting information about the incident.
I closed the apps and powered the phone down. There was nothing for me here now.
“Fallon?”
Raising my head, I took in the figure standing just inside the entrance door.
“Joseph.” An unfamiliar feeling unfurled inside me, and it took me a moment to realise it was almost happiness. I was glad to see my older brother.
“Are…are you ready to go home?” He was chewing on his lip, unsure. He was normally the confident older brother, who I hadn’t always seen eye to eye with, and it took me aback to see him so hesitant. Then again, we hadn’t seen each other since his last visit, which had been months ago, and we’d never shared a close relationship.
Not like I’d had with Tim.
Tim.
Thanks to the months and months of therapy, I’d mostly come to terms with my brother’s death, but not the cause of it. I didn’t know if I ever would. How could I?
As I followed Joseph outside into the night and the fresh mountain air filled my lungs and the sanctuary door closed behind me for the final time, I wondered.
How was it possible to still love someone that you hated beyond anything?
When would I ever stop hating myself for loving Zayde Lowry as much as I loathed him?
When?
Once, he was the love of my life. The cold, closed-off boy with the smiles he saved only for me.
My family’s rival. My secret, my obsession, my protector.
I gave him my heart, and in return, he gave me his.
Then, he smashed me to pieces, leaving only fragments that I was still trying to put back together.
It only took one night to change everything.
The night he killed my brother.
TWO
Roland Hyde is behind bars.
The words had been playing in my mind on a loop ever since yesterday, when Caiden had informed me that he’d been charged with embezzlement, six counts of fraud, and various other smaller charges that would keep him locked up for a long time.
It was a piece of my past that was finally over. Justice had been served.
So why did I feel so fucking numb?
The loud thud of music reverberated through the house. Watching the party from the vantage point of my armchair in the corner of the room, it was like I was outside, looking in on a scene. I rubbed my hand across my face. This was supposed to be a celebration, but sometimes it took being in a crowded room to realise that you were lonely.
What I knew I should feel and what I did feel were two different beasts. Fucking hell, most people would kill to be in my position.
Focus. Focus on something good.
As I lifted my joint to my lips, my gaze zeroed in on the group right in the centre of the action. Seeing Caiden, Cassius, and Weston—my three best mates—together with their girls, an unfamiliar emotion flickered to life inside me, penetrating the numbness. Infinitesimal, weak, but undeniably there. Something I hadn’t thought I was ever capable of feeling again.
Hope.
