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He was right.
I’d come too far along this long, shadowy, painful road to go back.
I let the knife fall from my grip, and as it dropped with a clatter, the pain inside me came roaring back, dragging me under.
FOUR
“Fuck you. I won.” Cassius threw down his PS5 controller, turning to give Caiden a mock glare. To my left, Weston smirked as he tapped out something on his laptop. It was like old times today. Just the four of us. Me, Caiden, Cassius, and Weston. Their girls were all at Skirmish, one of Creed’s places, where they were apparently practising archery or knife throwing or some shit.
I’d never cared that the rest of the Four were all pairing up. Yeah, there had been times when I’d thought about it, but I’d always known that I’d never have a relationship like they were all capable of. It was something inevitable—I was doomed to love Fallon, and therefore, I’d never have what they had.
I’d never careduntil. Until it had become completely fucking obvious that the three of them were in serious relationships, and their girls were just as important to them as we were to each other.
Now I noticed the emptiness inside me.
Loneliness.
And then when I’d seen Fallon was back online, it made me think about things. Want things that I knew I was never going to have.
Tugging my knife out, I forced myself to concentrate on the repetitive movements as I flicked the blade in and out of the handle. It only took about ten seconds for me to realise it wasn’t going to do anything to help. Shoving my knife back into my pocket, I scrubbed my hand across my face. Fuck. Wearing a mask had always come so easily to me, but now I was on the verge of losing my shit for the second time in two days. Climbing to my feet, I headed into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge to give me something to do.
“Z?”
I acknowledged Cade’s presence with a nod but didn’t turn around.
He sighed from behind me. “You know if there’s anything on your mind, you can talk to me.”
“Yeah.”
“It stays between us, you know that.”
I nodded again. When I didn’t hear him move, I gritted my teeth, clenching onto the kitchen counter. There were things I couldn’t tell him. Telling Creed had been risky enough, but at least I knew he’d stay neutral. Caiden was my best mate, but he was also very fucking anti-Hyde. As he should be, after the way Joseph had gone after Winter. Their cousin, James Granville, hung out with us sometimes, though. We owed him for helping Winter out, and Lena, if you wanted to go into detail. Even so, I wasn’t sure if Cade would ever warm up to him, even though James had never been directly involved in our Hyde-Alstone Holdings rivalry, other than when Joseph had been blackmailing him.
And then there was the whole thing where Hyde Senior had been working with Cade’s stepmother, Christine Clifford, plotting to take over Alstone Holdings. I hoped that it was just Creed’s paranoia speaking when he said he thought Hyde might appeal his sentence. The charges he’d been sentenced with should be enough to keep him locked up for a long time. That fucker deserved to rot behind bars forever, as far as I was concerned.
“Wanna come with me to meet Mack? We’re running low on weed.” I couldn’t say anything to Cade about what was going on with me, but I knew I could use the company.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s take my car. I need to fill the tank.” There was relief in his voice, and that meant he’d seen right through my act.
When we were on the road, with the rumbling purr of Cade’s matte-black Audi R8 filling the silence, I cracked. “Creed spoke to me about Hyde Senior’s charges. Said he thinks he might try to appeal his sentence.”
In my peripheral vision, I saw Caiden’s jaw clench, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel. “That fucker. If he dares to try anything… But how does he think he’s gonna weasel his way out of his sentence? There’s a mountain of evidence stacked against him. Surely they can get the charges to stick.”
“Fuck knows, but remember he wasn’t above working with your stepmother and the low-life scum she had doing her bidding. I wouldn’t put anything past him. Creed said he’ll keep an eye on the situation.”
“Good. He’d fucking better.” Caiden pulled into the waste ground where we were meeting Mack, bringing his R8 to a stop close to a group of hooded guys. I lowered my window, watching as one of the guys detached himself from the group, jogging over to us.
“Z.” Mack’s grinning face appeared. “And rich boy.”
Caiden rolled his eyes but gave Mack a nod. “Alright, mate. What have you got for us?”
Mack handed me the baggies of weed, swapping them for a roll of notes from my pocket. When we’d completed the transaction, he leaned closer, sticking his head through the car window and lowering his voice. “I’m on a job for Creed. The name Hyde might’ve come up. Ring any bells?”
Caiden and I exchanged glances before I nodded slowly. As far as Cade was concerned, we were talking about Roland Hyde, not his daughter. “Yeah. We might know something about that. I might’ve asked Creed to look into it.”
“Thought so.” He straightened up. “If any shit goes down, you know where to find me.” His eyes met Cade’s. “If your girlfriend’s hot friend is involved, don’t even think about leaving me out.”
Caiden smirked at him. “You’re into Kinslee? Since when? You think you have a chance with her?”
