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Breaking the seal of our lips, I pulled in short breaths between peppering his face with kisses.
“I’m not going anywhere, Win,” Lars whispered, hands clutching my back. “You can be overprotective and possessive. You can hold me as tight as you want. It’s okay. I like it that way.”
I pulled back, leveling my gaze on his. “If I’m ever too much, tell me.”
“Oh, I will.”
I smirked. “You are pretty sassy.”
“I love you.”
I groaned. “Oh God, baby. I love you too.” I rolled, bringing him with me so I was pinned under him. “Will you promise me something?”
“What?”
“Promise you’ll take care of yourself. Promise you’ll keep yourself safe.”Promise you won’t leave me here alone.
A shadow passed behind his eyes, something that once again felt like a warning. But then it was gone and he was smiling. “I promise.”
“That’s my angel,” I said, wrapping him up in my arms, the fear in my heart slightly abated.
28
Lars
I wentto sleep in his arms, wondering if he would feel the same in the light of a new day.
I woke up alone, the place he’d been lying empty, sheets cold.
Did he somehow sense I was holding something back, making a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep?
How could I not promise him? How could I look into the face of the man I loved most, the man who was terrified to lose me, and tell him I might not be safe?
Perhaps if I’d been drunk last night, perhaps if I hadn’t emptied the little alcohol I’d imbibed into the bushes, I could have convinced myself of the lie.
Oskar isn’t here.
But he was. I saw him. He stepped right out from the trees and would have been on me if Win hadn’t driven up when he did. I couldn’t keep pretending he wasn’t lurking around. Especially now. Especially now that I had Win’s heart to protect.
He was so worried about protecting me that he never stopped to realize I was just as fiercely protective of him.
I never thought I’d love again, truly thought the trust I might have for anyone was beaten and betrayed so severely it seemed unfathomable I’d ever find it.
Then came Win. Dimples, stupid sunglasses, and more animated than the cartoons on TV. I wanted to hate him. I tried.
I couldn’t. He slipped past all my defenses and amazingly became my strongest one. And I was going to be the same for him. And all he wanted was for me to protect myself because, by doing that, I was also protecting him.
I wasn’t so good at protecting myself, was I? The one thing Win wanted most was the one thing I sucked most at.
I would have to do better. I couldn’t keep trying to convince myself I didn’t see Oskar. That I somehow folded my own shirts in a haze of anxiety.
I was scared. More scared than I wanted to admit… but I had to. For Win. Oskar was the absolute worst, but I never thought he’d go as far as to chase me all the way across the globe. That seemed extreme even for him.
I couldn’t tell Win. What if he changed his mind about us? What if he decided I wasn’t worth the risk after all?
It was bad enough I had a severe allergy, but an abusive ex willing to come all this way to drag me back home and pin me under his thumb again?
I won’t go back. He’ll have to kill me first.
