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Rush laughed. “So? You gonna be around later?”
“Probably not,” I said, glad it was dark and they probably wouldn’t be able to see my cheeks pinken.
Rush gasped and lifted his hand to snap. “Shit, I almost forgot.”
“Did you lose your room key again?” I teased.
“Har-har, Eriksson,” Rush deadpanned. “No. My key is right here,” he said, patting his jeans pocket. “But I forgot to say your brother is here.”
“My brother?” I echoed, my stomach suddenly hollow.
I don’t have a brother.
“Yeah, knocked on the door a few minutes ago. I let him in.”
“He’s in our room?” I tried to keep my voice calm, but with the potent adrenaline pumping through my system, it was a lost cause.
Rush paused, then nodded. “I was suspicious at first, but he showed me a photo of the two of you. Spoke Swedish. Sounds just like you.”
My heart was pounding so hard I wondered if my ribs could withstand the force.
“Should I have not let him in?” Rush said, clearly reading my sudden alarm. “Do you want me to go up there and kick him out?”
“No!” I said, voice swift. “No, it’s fine. I’m just surprised is all. I had no idea he was coming.”
Rush smiled. “Ah, yeah, he did say it was a surprise. Guess I ruined that one.”
I forced myself to smile. “Ha-ha. Don’t worry. I won’t tell him I saw you.”
In truth, I wanted to ask him to come upstairs with me. I wanted to run from this building and go straight to Win. In my pocket, my cell phone felt heavy, practically begging me to pick it up.
I couldn’t.
This was no one’s mess but mine. I wouldn’t drag Rush into it. I most definitely did not want Win anywhere near this. This was my chance to protect him.
How can you do that when you can’t even protect yourself?
I can. I’m stronger now. I have too much to lose.
“So it’s cool I let him in?” Rush asked.
“Yeah, it’s cool.” It was good I wasn’t the smiley type because my lack of smile probably seemed normal.
“See you later,” Rush said as he and Vargas walked off.
I watched them go, sagging when they disappeared. I was shaking. Trembling in my sneakers. My insides sick, making me feel weak.
Again, I thought of the phone in my pocket, and again, I ignored the urge to dial up Win. With trembling fingers, I let myself in the building, head down as I trudged toward my room.
I should have just gone with Wes. Then I wouldn’t be here at all.
I knew this was coming, though, ever since I admitted to myself he was here. Wasn’t it better to deal with him now than to continue to look over my shoulder every single day?
At the door, I lifted my face, staring blankly ahead. I remembered something Max said to me before.You’re the one with the power.
I repeated it over and over, trying to will myself to believe it. Trying to make it true. But there was something about Oskar that made me feel utterly powerless and out of control.
Take your power back.
