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I reached forward, but he collapsed. Dropping right onto the floor at my feet. He didn’t move, just lay there locked up, eyes wild and panicked as he struggled to breathe.
My entire being shut down, suddenly hurtling back, not necessarily into moments but emotion I’d never quite recovered from. Into trauma I thought I was over but that now laughed heartily in my face. My knees turned to Jell-O, and I slid to the floor as I fought to push through my shit because Lars was more important.
Reaching down, I grabbed his body, flipping him onto his back. “Lars,” I rasped, taking in the sallow pallor of his skin and how the angelic features I couldn’t get enough of were being overrun by some kind of multiplying rash.
“Angel,” I said, giving him a shake. “What’s happening? What do I need to do?” Looking up into the empty room, I yelled, “Help!”
“Help!” I roared again.
Focusing back on him, I grabbed his face, forcing his mouth open to sweep the inside with my finger. His tongue was twice its normal size.
The door to our room burst in, the guys that lived across the hall stumbling in.
“Help!” I yelled. “Call 9-1-1! Emergency!”
One of them nodded and pulled out his phone.
“You’re having an allergic reaction,” I told Lars, whose crystalline eyes had latched on to me, clinging as though I were his only hope.
What if I’m not enough?
A sob ripped out of me, and I bent low over him. The brush of his fingers against my leg seemed to realign my world.
His wheezing was getting choppier. His breathing slowed down.
“Tell me,” I yelled at him.
His eyes slid behind me, and I jumped up and turned in that direction, seeing his bag sitting at the table. Lunging at it, I snatched it up and ripped it open, dumping the contents across the table and floor.
Smack!The EpiPen hit my foot, and I grabbed it up and dove to his side.
“Hang on, angel. Hang on.” I chanted as I tore off the top and then jammed it into his jean-covered thigh.
Nothing happened at first, and I felt like if he died, I would too. I couldn’t do this again.
Not ever again.
“Please,” I whimpered, leaning over to hold his swollen, ravaged face. “Please breathe.”
He gasped. The sound was so beautiful tears filled my eyes.
“Again!” I demanded.
His chest expanded again.
I collapsed on top of him, gasping for my own breath, my stomach in knots. The sound of his heartbeat was my lifeline as I grappled around until I was gently cupping the side of his neck.
“Just keep breathing, angel. Don’t ever stop.”
“Help is on the way,” someone said near his feet. “They’re coming.”
“I didn’t know,” I said. “I didn’t know he had an allergy.”
Lifting off his body, I glanced over his face. His eyes were closed.
“Lars!” I demanded.Jesus, why are his eyes closed?
They fluttered open, looking at me through a haze.
