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This didn’t feel like some hallucination. It was too real. The blood in my veins was fire, burning up the confusion trying to reason with my head. The unmistakable flavor that was Max coated my tongue, and I kept swallowing, prying more of him from the inside of my mouth, desperate for another taste.
Below my ribs, my heart knocked erratically, and adrenaline fueled my raging hormones, making it hard to think because my entire body screamed for him. I’d wanted him for so long, was completely convinced he didn’t want me, and now I was stepping into his bathroom, my reflection glinting off the glass shower door where he wanted me to wash off the touch of someone else. He stepped close, his reflection joining mine, and I looked at us both.
I wished for you.
I know.
I spun, the sudden movement reminding me my ankle was still not one hundred percent. Suddenly, I felt the absence of my shirt even though I walked around without one just as much as I didn’t.
Right now, it seemed too intimate. I was already so stripped down in front of him, vulnerable in ways I would never be with anyone else. Folding my arms across my chest, I regarded him, trying to put in place some kind of shield to protect what was left of me.
Who are you kidding, Wes? He literally has it all.
No. Not yet he doesn’t.
My head was like a vat of alphabet soup, jumbled letters, words, and sentences. So much left unspoken that now the letters lay abandoned in a pile, floating around in feelings that had also been repressed. I struggled to assemble a sentence but, in the end, could only find two words.
“You knew?”
Damn his opaque stare so skilled at hiding things I desperately wanted to see. When he said nothing and just stared, I spoke again.
“You knew all this time?”
“Wes.”
A rough sound burst from me, and my arms flung out. “Answer the goddamn question, Max! You knew I was in love with you.”
His eyes flashed, a slight crack in his unreadable expression. “Was?”
I laughed hollowly. “Don’t expect me to answer if you won’t.”
“Yeah.” He was gruff. “Of course I knew.”
I choked on those words. “How?” I asked, voice strained. I tried so hard, so fucking hard, to keep my heart on lockdown. To let no one see.
“Your eyes are very expressive.”
“Yeah?” I accused, chest tight. “Well, yours are like an impenetrable wall.”
“I’ve had a lot of practice.”
“How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long have you known?”
He pursed his lips. “A few years.”
A bitter laugh escaped me. “And Win?”
“Pretty sure he knows too.”
“How long?”
He shrugged.
“Max.” I warned.
