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I glanced down, and my chest clenched at the way Wes was tucked between my spread thighs, his upper body draped across my torso, arms hidden between us. His breathing was steady and even, a rhythm attempting to soothe how stirred up I felt.
Unblinking, I stared at my hands resting loosely around him, denying the urge to flatten my palms and rub over his side and back. He needed comfort last night, and though I knew I shouldn’t, there was no way in hell I could deny him. He was raw, but I was too. Seeing him in this hospital bed was basically my worst nightmare.
Thank fuck he is okay.My brain tried multiple times to go to the place of what would have happened if things had been worse, but I basically short-circuited, unable to process. Everything in me shut right down as if Wes stopped existing, then I would too.
Shaky and raw, I shoved away the thoughts as hard as I could. I was a violent fuck, so they skittered and screeched, leaving skid marks as they flew into the dark recesses of my mind, a place I never allowed myself to go.
I told myself to get up. It was morning now, and there was a hard, uncomfortable chair over there with my name on it. I didn’t move because stolen moments from the middle of the night replayed as though I needed a rerun. His smooth cheek rubbing against me. The light exhale of his breath against my exposed skin. Wide, vulnerable eyes watching me like there was nothing else to look at. Like there was no one else he wanted to see. The way he fucking whispered if he could sleep on me…
Can I?
I bit back a groan.
His lips against my neck.
“Shit,” I muttered, dragging a hand over my face.
He made a small sound, and I froze. The little snuffle filled the quiet room as he shifted even closer against me. How he managed to fold himself into such a small ball, I would never understand.
Heart aching, I lightly fingered his messy curls.
Why do you do this to me? How?
The handle on the door clicked, making my eyes pop wide. As it unlatched, my knees rose, creating a barrier around Wes’s sleeping form. Triceps clenching, I straightened my arms so I could fold them closer around him, shielding what my legs did not. Neck tight, my head left the mattress, and I stared at the four people suddenly piling in the door.
Partly on their way in, they all froze, taking in the way we were lying and the fact Wes was still asleep.
A very small pinch of awkwardness tried to form, but I immediately and rather ruthlessly snuffed it out with the heavy emotions already swelling within me. I wouldn’t be embarrassed, ashamed, or anything else for being in this bed with Wes, for holding him while he slept.
I could berate myself for it later. In private.
“Should we come back?” Rory whispered.
I shook my head and waved them in. “What time is it?” I kept my voice low.
“Eight thirty,” Ryan said, stepping around the girls and moving to the side of the bed to glance down at Wes and frown. “He okay?”
I tightened my arms around him. “He’s fine.”
“Then why are you in bed with him?” Ryan deadpanned.
Jamie made a gruff sound, obviously thinking the same thing.
I maybe had a soft spot for the girls, but these two dudes? At times, they tried me.
On the other side of the bed, Rory set a drink holder on the small table, and Madison placed a box beside it.
“They’re grumpy,” Madison told me quietly. “They only got three pounds of food this morning instead of ten.”
“You didn’t have to hurry over,” I told her.
“We brought coffee. And donuts. We were gonna bring sandwiches, but we weren’t sure how Wes would be feeling…” Her voice fell away, brown eyes straying to Wes as she chewed on her lower lip.
“Coffee and donuts are good. Thanks,” I said, gruff, including Rory in the brief display of gratefulness. Being nice was kinda new to me.
Both Jamie and Ryan moved to the foot of the bed, folding their arms over their chests to glower.
Was I supposed to be intimidated?
