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I awoke with a shudder,my skin like ice. Lifting my head, I squinted against the dark, looking up automatically to the stars. They were nearly faded, indicating a few hours must have passed. Grimacing against the protests my body made, I pushed up off the floor. I’d fallen asleep here, in the spot Max had left me.
Sorrow swooped in, wrapping around my torso like a tight hug I couldn’t push away. God, that kiss had been everything. More than even I had imagined. He gave so much, then took even more, leaving me a hollow husk on the floor.
How could he just walk away like that? How could he not look back?
Because he doesn’t love you the way you love him.
If he didn’t know about my feelings before, he would be stupid not to realize now. Max was a lot of things, but stupid would never be one of them.
Anger rose, becoming a familiar friend. It was comforting too, far better than sorrow. Warmer than regret.
He shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have kissed me if this was how it would end. Now it would be even harder to pretend I didn’tfeelfor him. It would be that much more painful to treat him as my brother.
He couldn’t even let me have that. The lie. The secret. The privacy of suffering in silence.
He took everything and then walked away.
Now I understood why there was such a thin line between love and hate. Love was so powerful, so fucking consuming. Gone unrequited, it turned sour and bitter. It twisted into anger and loss… How easy it would be for it to shift into hate.
Hating my thoughts, I got up off the floor, noting how dry my mouth and throat had become. Choosing to ignore the crutches, I opened the bedroom door and limped out into the hall. My bare upper body rippled with goose bumps in the chilly night air.
There was a nightlight at the end of the hall, and it created a knot in my throat. It reminded me of the one we had growing up, how my parents left it on because I told them I was afraid of the dark.
But I could never be afraid of the dark because Max stepped out of it so many times. I just thought he might need it when he snuck in at night.
Stop thinking about him.
The ache in my head was dull as I hobbled downstairs toward the kitchen. A dim light was on above the stove, casting a soft glow on the room. I recoiled at the brightness of the fridge light as I reached in to grab a bottle of water, quickly shoving it closed.
Limping over to the counter that separated the kitchen from the small dining room, I laid aside the cap and chugged some of the water. I felt the icy liquid pour down my esophagus and hit my stomach uncomfortably. Pulling back, I took another much smaller sip and then set the drink down. Hands on the countertop, I shifted so my sprained ankle took no weight and then took stock of the rest of me. I was stiff and sore, my stitches hurt, and my stomach sloshed that too-cold water around.
Sighing, I went to a nearby cabinet, reaching for some pain reliever. The pills rattled in the bottle, the sound seeming to fill the kitchen. It took two tries to get the cap off, and then there was more rattling as I shook some into my palm.
A prickling sensation raised the hair on the back of my neck, and the ache in my head turned sharp. I glanced over my shoulder toward the stairs that emptied into the dining room, expecting to see Max glowering and demanding to know what I was doing.
But he wasn’t there.
Blowing out a breath, I capped the pill bottle and replaced it on the shelf, closing the cabinet door and turning around for my water.
The sudden flash of movement out of the corner of my eye had all my attention whipping to the window. Beyond the glass, everything was pitch black and still, but as I stared, my heart thudded impossibly fast. Adrenaline made my hands shake, and I limped quickly toward the sink. When I leaned toward the window and peered into the dark, my breath created a small oval of fog on the glass. There was nothing there… but had there been?
It was almost as though someone had been standing out there gazing inside, watching.
Smack!
Something slammed into the glass, the sharp cracking sound making me stumble back. The pills still clutched in my hand went flying, pinging on the various surfaces around the room as I grunted from the pain shooting from my ankle all the way to my knee.
Grimacing, I shifted so my weight was on the opposite foot, eyes fastening back on the dark window.
Someone had been there. And I wasnotgoing to pretend otherwise. I was sick and tired of pretending. Limping quickly, I went into the adjoining dining room to the double slider doors. Shoving back the curtain covering the glass, I unlocked the door and yanked it open.
The scent of snow swirled beneath my nose, and goose bumps raced over my exposed skin. The hair against my forehead ruffled when I stuck my head out into the yard behind the townhouse. No one here really had a fence, and everyone’s yard just ran together, making it look like a big field.
I thought about calling out but then rolled my eyes at my own idiocy.Like they would answer.
Bracing against the frigid night air, I stepped outside, wincing against the cold ground underfoot. It was so dark I couldn’t see anything, so I reached back inside to flip on the small light hanging on the house beside the door.
Yellow-ish light flooded the space, creating a wide circle in the dark. In a sense, it made the night seem even darker beyond it.Lots of shadows for people to hide…
