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“I tried to keep it private, but some people around here took away that choice. So yeah, I’m gay. Now you all know. And I don’t walk around leering at cock like a pervert because, unlike Rinkin, I have some self-control.”
“What the fuc—”
“Shut it,” I snapped.
Rinkin went silent instantly.
I glanced around at all the swimmers. “If any of you got a problem with having a gay swimmer in Elite, you can talk to Coach. Hell, you can even talk to me if you can say a sentence without an insult. I’ve never disrespected any of you, and I expect the same in return. And if anyone has a problem with sharing a shower with me, then speak up. I’ll shower at home.”
“The fuck you will—” Ryan started.
I held up my hand. “But I’m not quitting the team.”
The room fell into heavy silence. No one moved at all.
Eventually, Jamie cleared his throat. “Any of you got a problem?”
“You knew he was gay?” someone said.
I glanced around at one of the guys, but he was talking to Ryan and not me.
Again, everyone always deferred to Ryan. It kinda pissed me off.
“I don’t need Walsh’s permission to like men,” I spat. “And you don’t need his permission to approve it either. Jesus. Grow a fucking pair.”
The swimmer flushed, and behind, Prism snickered. I glanced around, and he hitched his chin in acknowledgment.
“What he said,” Ryan told the room.
“But did you know?” Someone else piped in.
Jamie made a rumbly sound.
Ryan’s jaw ticked. “Yeah, we knew. We don’t give a shit.”
“We don’t give a shit either,” Kruger said, gesturing between him and Prism. After that, they moved off to their lockers to get dressed.
Coach chose that moment to come into the room. Noting the undercurrents, he frowned. “What now?”
“I’m gay,” I announced.
Coach made a face. “You want a fucking cookie?”
“Language.” Jamie reminded him.
“Apparently, Rinkin here thinks I’d rather have his dick,” I commented, sliding a pointed look at Rinkin.
Coach flushed. Then he looked at the swimmer. “You being a homophobe?”
Caught off guard, Rinkin flushed. “What? No… I—”
“Good, because I don’t tolerate that shit here. Now get dressed and get out of my face.” Coach looked around at everyone else. “Anyone else got a problem?”
My heart literally lodged in my throat, making it impossible to swallow, impossible to breathe. My muscles were so tense, my nerves so raw, everything beneath my skin quivered.
I was out. Now that I confirmed it to part of the team, it would spread, and I wouldn’t deny it. I couldn’t. That meant the information that hadn’t been secret but guarded would now be public knowledge.
The last time that happened, I spent a week in the ICU.
