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Suddenly the sobs that had been threatening for so long erupted out of Sofi, the volcano of her emotions erupting everywhere. She held a pillow tightly against her stomach as she curled into a ball, each heave pulling from her very depths.
Sofi tried not to let the night’s events replay in her mind. The hope she’d felt that the stars had aligned and she and Austin were about to start their lives together. She couldn’t believe how wrong she’d been, and suddenly the pain became so intense that Sofi wasn’t sure she’d make it. Her heart was no longer the only ache. Every part of her physically hurt, either piercing, throbbing, or aching accompanying the rhythmic squeezes of her broken heart.
But even with the physical pain permeating every part of her body, Sofi cried for her heartache alone. That was the only pain she couldn’t bear.
Her sobs had to have reached every part of Blue Falls and soon, Leia was in her room, drawing Sofi’s head into her lap.
“You’ll be okay,” Leia promised.
Sofi wanted to believe her. But she knew it couldn’t be true. How would Sofi ever be okay without Austin?
Leia stroked Sofi’s hair, alleviating some of her body’s pain, but the ache in her heart only grew. Because even as she wanted him nowhere near her, she knew the only person who could truly heal her pain was Austin. And he’d made it clear that he never would.
And that was Sofi’s last thought before sleep finally claimed her.
* * *
Sofi hatedthat even before her eyes opened she remembered the pain. Or maybe it had never left. The blazing headache that fought through her consciousness told her it hadn’t.
She sat up too quickly, her head now spinning even as it pulsed with pain. She thought about throwing herself back and curling once more under the covers but the sun’s angle told her she’d already slept too much of the day away, and the crick in her neck promised to become full-blown neck pain complete with nausea if she didn’t do something besides lie in her bed.
She knew food should be her first plan of action. Maybe after some food, the world wouldn’t appear quite so bleak. But her stomach churned with sorrow, threatening all kinds of things if Sofi did turn to food.
Brush her teeth and make it to the couch. Those were her only goals for the day. Thankfully she wasn’t scheduled at the mercado and could take this respite. Although she was pretty sure her brothers wouldn’t have let her come to work even if the kitchen were open.
Sofi finally stood up from her bed and got to the bathroom. She eyed her matted and yet still frizzy hair in the mirror. Nope, not on the list. She grabbed her toothbrush and applied toothpaste to the bristles, each step feeling like so much more. She put the brush in her mouth and got to work.
She almost smiled when she finished step one but then a swell of agony filled her soul and she hurried to the couch, flopping down before piling every blanket in the vicinity on top of herself.
She heard Leia pause whatever she was doing in the kitchen at the commotion.
“I know I’m not the cook you are, but I can whip up some eggs for you? Or maybe a sandwich?” Leia offered, because the hour was somewhere between breakfast and lunch.
Both options made Sofi’s stomach turn.
“I’m okay.” Sofi tried to sound reassuring but since her voice broke over just those two words, she doubted she was successful.
It was then that her eyes drifted to their front window and her focus fell on a red truck parked on their street. He was back? Why was he back? And why did Sofi’s heart lift at just the idea? Hadn’t it learned its lesson?
Leia joined Sofi in the living room, her eyes following Sofi’s line of sight. “He’s knocked on the door every hour starting around five am. At least he’s respected us enough not to use his key.”
Sofi opened her mouth to apologize. Leia had been up that early? “I’m sor—”
Leia waved Sofi’s attempted words away. “I couldn’t have slept anyway.”
“Leia,” Sofi began, hating that she was upsetting her friend.
“Don’t even start. I already stopped you from giving one apology. You don’t get to give this one either.”
Leia sat on the couch beside Sofi. “None of this is your fault. If anyone gets to be sorry, it’s me. If I were a better friend, I would have talked you out of going to Austin. Or loving him in the first place or . . . I don’t know what I could have done, but I should have done something.”
Sofi was surprised to hear her own scoff. It felt good to feel something other than overwhelming sadness. Leia’s words had helped her to feel disbelief as well as a little annoyance.
“Talked me out of loving Austin? There wasn’t a chance. That’s actually what I’m most afraid of. That I’ll never stop loving him even though he’s told me loud and clear how he feels about me,” Sofi said as she wiggled her way deeper into her blanket nest. She was pretty sure Austin couldn’t see her from where he was but she was still taking extra precautions, considering how she looked. A little voice in the back of her mind questioned why she should care about how she looked in front of Austin, but Sofi told her brain to shut up.
“Okay, I know I just said I should have talked you away from Austin but . . . I will hate myself if I don’t say this. Especially after he’s been out there all night,” Leia said.
Sofi raised her eyebrows. “All night? He never left?”
