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“I didn’t mean for you to see us.”
The knife of pain was back, this time somehow digging deeper.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Austin said quickly as he heard Sofi’s sharp intake of breath. I meant that by the time you found out about the date, you’d know it was only a precaution and that my love for you is true. It’s all consuming, Sofi. I don’t know how long I’ve felt it but as soon as I started giving you space it began creeping up on me until I knew what it was. I started getting my life together so that I could be the man you deserved. This date was my last thing.”
“A last hoorah?” Sofi felt sick at the thought.
“Not at all. Sofi, I wanted to give myself one last reminder that all of the other women in the world would pale in comparison to you.”
“And you had to go on a date to know that?” Sofi felt like she was repeating herself, but she had to make sure she understood him. She kind of did understand it, especially knowing Austin the way she did. But it still didn’t make it right. If he loved her the way he said he did, going on a date with another woman should be unbearable. Sofi knew that every time she went on one it was. And that was without knowing how Austin felt for her.
“It was the most idiotic thing I’ve ever done. If I could take it back I would. I now look at it and know I didn’t need it. At the time it had seemed important but now . . . I can’t believe I thought that.”
Austin was baring his heart and soul. Sofi wanted it to be enough.
But last night’s pain was too fresh, her wounds so raw they begged for mercy.
Still, could she give up Austin for good? She knew she wasn’t in a good headspace. If she made a decision now, she’d be behaving rashly. Maybe his reasoning would make more sense to her in the future? Maybe it wouldn’t. Or maybe she just wasn’t quite ready to let go. So what she said next was all she could while staying true to the many conflicting sides of herself.
“Give me time,” she said, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake. The ghosts of her sobs were sure she was.
“Of course. I can do time,” Austin immediately agreed. “I’ll prove myself to you, Sof. I’ll gain your trust back. I swear it.”
Could he? Sofi rooted him on even as she doubted it was possible. But even with all of the discord in her soul, Sofi’s stupid heart lifted once more. Because even as her brain told her to proceed with caution, her heart was ever hopeful.
Pitiful organ.
Eleven
Austin pacedthe floor of his mom’s kitchen, hating that Sofi was somewhere hurting and not only had he caused it, he hadn’t fixed it. And he had to fix it. Somehow. So he’d enlisted the help of all of the women in his family even as they looked down on him for wounding Sofi. But knowing he was doing this for her was the only reason they’d all agreed to help him.
“How do I stop her from hurting?” Austin asked, his voice breaking. Even he wanted to kick the trash out of Austin from last night. The knowledge that he’d caused Sofi to hide away in her blankets from him? His heart was breaking off piece by piece. And he’d take that pain. But leaving Sofi to hers? He couldn’t.
“Besides finding a time machine?” Holland asked sassily, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.
Austin ignored his unhelpful sister’s answer.
“I’m not sure that you can,” Ruby said with a frown. “But the good news is you aren’t the first man to injure the heart of the woman they love.”
“You aren’t even the first Ashford,” Lake chimed in.
That didn’t surprise Austin. He didn’t know every aspect of their love stories, but he knew his brothers had probably messed up at some point. They were his brothers, after all.
“It takes time,” Madi added.
That was the last thing Austin wanted to hear.
“What about a daily text? Things I love about her. Or just ‘good morning’ so I don’t come on too strong. She’s asked for time and space, but I also know that not communicating with Sofi for a month was the dumbest thing I could have done.”
“Nope, going on a date with another woman was dumber,” Holland piped up unhelpfully.
Austin glared at his sister, who just winked back at him. But he let it go. Because he wasn’t truly annoyed with Holland. He knew that her wisecracks were her way of punishing Austin for Sofi’s sake. He couldn’t fault her for that, but he was going to direct his questions to his more helpful family members from now on. He turned to them before he spoke.
“So I don’t want to do that again. But is texting not respecting her space?” Austin asked. He couldn’t help but think he could cheer her at least a tiny bit with a daily text. Maybe the heartache would truly only go away with time, but he’d work his darndest to see that time come to an end sooner rather than later.
“Maybe start with a text asking if it’s okay. Tell her that you want to respect her wishes, but you also need to let her know that you realize you were an idiot before and you want to start doing better,” Lake said.
Ruby and Madi nodded as Holland shrugged and Morgan silently watched from her workspace in the kitchen.
