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“You chose to put Milo first.” No recrimination existed in that sentence.
“Yes and no. Milo and I have a different relationship from the others. It’s because I was the one who found you two after your mother died. Milo had been doing everything he could but was struggling, and this little punk kid…” I shook my head. “If you believe nothing else, never ever doubt how much he loves you. Because I have never known anyone as strong as he was back then. I thought I was a badass, but he was looking after you and trying to do all these really adult things while his mother was also dead.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes, and I frowned.
“He never cuts himself a break. Even so little, he just…he put you first. You were what was important to him. Then I took you guys to Steph—” That sliced pain right through my chest. “Admitted to her what I’d been doing…”
Running drugs.
“The thing is…every choice he made from that point forward always took you into account. For some reason, he trusted me. Even when he should have wanted to shoot me for being the guy who brought his mother drugs.” Drugs that killed her. “Only he didn’t. He trusted me. He listened to me. When he struggled, he came to me. The guy he was when he got out…”
Fuck, he’d been hurting.
“The long and the short of it was that Milo needed me, and the idea of me getting turned on by his baby sister was not something he ever needed to think about. I thought…I knew you didn’t want to go home, but I also thought you had opportunities that you could get back to and for a while, that maybe you would go. It would be easier on you if you weren’t attached.”
“Too late,” she whispered, and I sighed. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You hurt me to make me go away, to make me let you go…then you couldn’t let go.”
No. I really couldn’t. “Honestly, if I was hurting, then it was my own damn fault and I deserved it.”
She took another drink of her beer, then scooted forward until she was straddling my lap. The angle was awkward, but I braced her to ensure she didn’t fall.
“You deserve a kick in the ass,” she told me. “Then again, you don’t deserve to hurt like that.”
“A few months ago…” I pointed out and she shrugged.
“That was before. Things have changed.”
Yeah. They really had. Or maybe they were how they’d always been, and I just had a sharper, clearer view of it all. Fuck, I had an armful of one of the most gorgeous women I’d ever known, and she was next to naked. The idea of flipping her over and fucking into her was so damn tempting.
“Little Bit…before we go another step, there are some things you need to know. About me. About my time in the army. About the choices I made. About the choices I may yet make…”
Fearless little thing met my gaze without hesitation. “I’m listening.”
CHAPTER19
EMERSYN
The grooves at the sides of Mickey’s mouth deepened as he studied me. This close, it would be hard to conceal even a well-kept secret. I hadn’t been kidding when I told him I would fight him if he tried to send me away again. Understanding the need didn’t make it hurt any less.
“I wish there were easier ways to tackle this,” he admitted, and I leaned back against the arm he’d looped around me.
“Well, in training, if you aren’t certain you can pull it off—you warm up and just go for it. You won’t know until you try. How about a little motivation?”
I reached behind me and unhooked the bra. It slid down my arms effortlessly. His heated gaze went to my breasts then back up.
“Little Bit,” he practically growled. “That is not motivating me to talk.”
“I’m not done yet,” I teased, and while he might have wanted me to stay right there, I scooted off his lap before I slid my panties down and off. Since I never got my thong back, I held out the black lace to him. “For your collection.”
A real laugh escaped him. Then I picked up my beer and walked over to the chair in the corner of his room. There were some clothes on it, so I picked those up and moved them before taking a seat and crossing one leg over the other.
Mickey tracked my movement then reached for his own beer. “So, my motivation is torture?”
“Well, you say potato. I say potahto.” Either way, I grinned at him as I leaned back in the chair. It was oddly comfortable being completely nude while he wasn’t, and the distance between us added a kind of erotic buffer.
