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I was going to throw up.
“It was better, you know…he would be a terrible father.” He looked right at me, as if begging me to understand.
“I had an abortion when I was sixteen. I’m very well aware of how bad a parent he would have been.”
His face drained of all color. “Emersyn…”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Don’t tell me how sorry you are—you’re not. You didn’t protect Mom. You didn’t protect me. You let him use her for your mistakes—what mistakes did you make that I was payment for?”
A sob came out of him, snotty and pained, and I felt… numb.
“He wanted a little girl…someone of his own to love, and he didn’t want a wife or any of the baggage. When Moira couldn’t have kids…she was broken about it. He suggested that we adopt…that it would be a child for all of us.” Head down, he sobbed harder. “He loved you so much and was always so proud of you…I never thought…”
He didn’t look away before those last two sentences. “Can you break the pinky on his left hand for me?”
I honestly didn’t know who I was asking. Liam ripped his left arm back and Kellan snapped it in a move so smooth it looked like they’d rehearsed. My father shrieked.
“I told you…”
“Lies. Those last two sentences were lies.”
“He did love you,” my father argued, and I shook my head.
“That was never love. Now, the part about you never thought? You want to try that again?”
“Index finger or ring finger, Hellspawn?”
“Index. He doesn’t deserve the ring finger.” He still wore his wedding band.
Kellan reached for the index finger, and my father shrieked. “Don’t—I knew, okay. I saw…when you were five, and he started insisting on the sleepovers. I saw it….and he told me I had two choices. We adopted you together, where you were his as much as you were mine, and if I fought him on it, he would cut me off. Let my creditors come for me—so they’d have destroyed me, and then he would still have had you—and your mother. At least…if I were around, I could protect you…”
“Wow,” Freddie said, elongating the word. “You’re a real piece of shit. You sold her for a hit—and you just let him keep her so he’d keep funding your addiction.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that…you left, you went to the show. You stayed away…”
Was that supposed to make it better?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, crying. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I started to rise when Rome held his hand out to me. I slid my fingers over his palm and he helped me to my feet.
“Any more questions, Dove?” Vaughn asked, and the rough sympathy in his eyes buoyed me. Because there was also pride in them. Pride and understanding.
“No,” I said slowly. “Nothing I really care about. I know you guys have questions…including where Uncle Fuckbucket is right now—”
“Emersyn!” Sharpe lunged toward me, except he didn’t make it halfway to his feet before Liam kicked him hard. The blow sent him face-first into the concrete.
“You were saying, Hellspawn?”
“Make sure Mom gets to see him before you’re done. She deserves some closure.” And I needed to get out of this room. Rome tugged me to him, and I closed my eyes as he wrapped me up in a hug. “Can we go now?” My voice was low, but I wasn’t sure I could stop the trembling anymore.
Knuckles touched down my spine, and Kellan kissed the back of my head. “We got this. Go, let Rome look after you.”
Curled up tight to Rome, I trusted him to guide me toward the door, pausing only to brush a kiss to Freddie’s cheek and another to Mickey’s.
Liam, Milo, Jasper, and Vaughn were too close to my so-called father. I didn’t want to be that close to him.
“Emersyn!” Sharpe yelled. “Emersyn!”
