AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, I guess you are, pumpkin.”
I try to think of a time I’ve seen her behaving badly lately, and I can’t think of one. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been around long enough at times to catch her in a bad moment. I’ve got to change that. I’ve got to do better, be better.
“I love you, Ivy,” I say, my voice catching.
“Love you, Daddy.” I hear her yell for my mom in the background, and then the phone is transferred.
“Simon?”
“Right here, Mom.”
“How are you?” she asks.
I prop my head up with one arm behind it. “I’m okay,” I say.
Before I can say any more, she cuts in, “How are you really?”
I think about the answer to her question. I’ve never been one to open up much, but if anyone can get me to talk, it’s my mom. She’s always been one to break down my walls and get to the root of the problem, even when I don’t want to face it. I should have listened to her about my ex-wife—she was never a fan. But I can’t hate that time in my life since it gave me Ivy.
“I’m surviving. I miss working.”
“Do you miss working every day, or do you miss how it got your mind off things?”
Damn it.
“I don’t need a lecture, Mom.”
“Yes, you do. But I won’t give you one. It seems like you already know what you need. Just give yourself time to have fun. It’s okay, you know?”
“I know.”
“Good. I love you, and I want what’s best for you even if it’s a swift kick in the behind.”
“I’m a grown man, Mom. Please don’t say that.”
“I’ll say whatever I want. I’m your mother.”
“I love you too.” I shake my head, a smile creeping over my face.
No matter how stern she tries to be, I know she truly does want me to be okay and happy. And I want that too. Sometimes, it’s harder to find that than it is to say it.
“I’ve got to go. Movie is starting. You have a good night, Simon—I mean it.”
“Okay. Bye, Mom.”
“Bye.”
I end the call and then lay the phone beside me on the bed. I’m thankful that I have work tomorrow, but it does beg the question why I crave it so much. Am I a workaholic, or do I use it as a crutch to avoid any sort of feelings in my life? As much as I want it to be the easy answer, the first answer, I’m beginning to think that it just might be answer number two. And that’s a little scary.
