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“I’m a selfish man,” he says, and I wrinkle my brow in confusion.
“Okay?” I draw the word out.
“I want something I can’t have. God, I”—he runs a hand down his face, scraping it across his jawline—“I was down in the kitchen trying to convince myself not to come up here. But I want you, Alice. I don’t want to ask you to be with me for a short time because it’s not fair to you. But I won’t pretend anymore that it’s not something that I crave.”
“I don’t understand why. Why can’t you have me? I am here”—I hold out my arms—“waiting for you, and you are the one telling me that—”
“I know,” he cuts me off. “God, I know. I just can’t open myself up to someone like that again and risk getting broken even further. I can’t risk that because of Ivy.”
“I love Ivy.”
“I thought Jane loved me.” He pins me with a gaze that has me frozen.
I know he still hurts and has carried that with him these last years since she left. I know he hurts for Ivy and doesn’t want her to go through that again.
“You can’t take that opportunity away from Ivy forever though,” I tell him, stepping forward.
I reach for his hand, but he pulls it back at the last second, leaving me grasping at air. I wrap my arms around my middle, fully aware of how undressed I am. Goose bumps break out across my skin in the chilly room, and I’m afraid to look down and see if my nipples are standing at attention. I’m sure they are. I’m staring at Simon right now, and the effect he has on my body is unlike any other.
To his credit, he doesn’t look down, keeping his eyes pinned firmly on mine. I shiver.
“I’m sorry. That’s really none of my business,” I say, backtracking and feeling a stab of guilt over what I just said. Even though I believe it, it’s not my place to tell him how to raise his daughter.
“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t take that opportunity away from her. Maybe I subconsciously did this whole thing in an effort to find her a mother, and to be honest, if that’s what happens, you are the perfect choice. But I’m not convinced yet that that’s what I need.”
“To me, it looks like you need someone,” I say pointedly.
He’s standing in my room right now because he needs something from me. Be it touch, connection, physical release, he needs something.
“Dammit.” He turns abruptly.
I think he’s going to walk out, but then he surprises me by pivoting again, wrapping one hand around the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his. I gasp against his mouth, overwhelmed at the action but also wildly turned on. Oh, who am I kidding? I was turned on before he slammed his face against mine. We stay like that for a moment before I overcome my shock and reciprocate.
After I bring my hands up to wrap around him, we are a tangle of tongues and limbs and moans.
“The door,” I mumble against him, and he pulls back, looking at it like it offends him.
He stalks across the room and shuts it, and then he turns to look at me.
“Get on the bed,” he says, and I do.
I crawl across it and turn, and then he’s tackling me before I have a chance to even offer him a seductive look. So much for patience. His arms cage me in as he looks down at me, both of our chests heaving. I see hesitation on his face, and it gives me pause.
“I’m selfish, Alice.”
“You already said that,” I joke, trailing my fingertips along his arms, touching the muscles that are straining as he holds himself above me. Thank God for the male body.
“I want you.”
“You said that too.” I meet his eyes again as his lips press together in a thin line. I don’t want to think at this time. I just want to do and feel.
“I can’t give you anything else,” he finishes with a sigh, and I nod.
“I know,” I whisper. And the stupidest phrase leaves my mouth. “I’ll take what you can give me now.”
After a few more moments, he nods and lowers himself on top of me. The pressure of his body fitting against mine is delicious, and I never want it to end. He nips at my jaw and then my neck before coming back to my mouth.
“You taste amazing,” he says, and I grin.
