Page 39 of The Ruin of Gods


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It’s time to cut him loose so he doesn’t get hurt.

“We need to end things,” I say.

Maddox’s expression morphs from worry to rage. “Like fuck we do.”

It’s the perfect time for me to tell him that we have to end it because I care for him, and the gods will use him against me. But the minute I admit the feelings I know he’s been wanting to hear from me, it will only encourage him to try harder.

Maddox moves fast, jerking me into his body, and kisses me hard. I submit for only a moment, just enough to feel him and memorize his touch and taste before I push him away with a punch of power that sends him stumbling backward several feet before he regains his footing.

I could tell him I’m not attracted to him anymore. I could tell him that I want to take other lovers. All things that would be meant to hurt and drive him away. But he’d never believe it, so instead I offer him the clearest truth.

“You make me weak, Maddox. This new life I’ve been granted is harsh and unforgiving. I cannot afford to care for you because it will make my life difficult. I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for me.”

His face is a mask of anger, but it twists my heart into a knot when I see a flicker of hurt in his green eyes.

Jaw locked tight, he grits out, “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” I assure him, offering him the biggest lie I’ve ever told. “Now… I’m ordering you back to Faere. Perhaps you can find comfort in the arms of Deandra.”

That last jab was exceptionally cruel, not only to him but to me as the thought of him experiencing pleasure with her, or anyone else, is repulsive.

We stare at each other. His jaw ticks as he struggles to disobey my order. My own pulse pounds as I fight the overwhelming urge to fling myself at him and recant everything I said.

But then he gives the barest of nods, an acknowledgment he accepts my edict, and disappears.

A wave of grief drives me to my knees. My hands claw at the damp sand as I suck in air, trying to push the sorrow away.

It doesn’t work, so I lift my head to the artificially created sky and scream so loud the birds flying overhead die and plummet into the sea. A few fall on the sand, their eyes staring at me blankly.

I wonder if I have enough power within me to end my existence. It’s not one I would have ever chosen for myself knowing what I know now. It’s too harsh and while I’m a god, I’m still too human to not be hurt by the reality of my world.

The moment is fleeting and I eventually stand. I replace my clothing with my prior leather ensemble and pull the Underworld to me, stepping out onto the Bridge of Judgment where I catch Amell tossing a recently departed over the edge and into the Crimson River. The citizens of Otaxis who came out to watch cheer.

The king blinks at me in surprise, and Nyssa, who stands to the left of his throne, smiles in welcome. I glance over my shoulder at the long line of humans who will be brought forth for their reckoning and decide I don’t have time to wait for him to evaluate each one. With my power, I’m able to take in the entire lot and judge immediately if any are redeemable.

Not a single one, so I flick my wrist and they all tumble into the river, effectively ending the judgment.

There’s brief, shocked silence but then the dark creatures on the opposite bank below the bridge let up a deafening roar of approval. Because I rule death, I’m their primary deity, and my appearance is important to them. I hate to be revered for such a thing, but it’s definitely nice to feel appreciated.

My attention comes back to Amell. “We need to talk.”

When we arrive in his private living space, I decline food and wine, getting right to the matter. “Your punishment has been lifted. You are free to move about the dimensions at your discretion.”

Amell’s eyebrows shoot high, but it’s Nyssa who shouts in delight. I’m stunned when she flings her arms around my neck and hugs me close. “Oh, thank you, Zora. You don’t know what it means to him to be able to see Thalia more.”

Spontaneous acts of affection are like shocks of electricity. Uncomfortable at first, but with a pleasant tingle left behind. I hesitate before returning her hug. Nyssa holds a special place in my heart because she’s a lot like me. Most of her existence has been spent in a mortal body, and she’s now trying to navigate life as an immortal.

When we release, Amell offers a slight bow of gratitude. “Thank you.”

I give a curt smile. “Will you go after the Book of Shadows?”

He shakes his head as Nyssa steps next to him, slipping her arm around his back. It makes me almost cry that I never had the opportunity to bestow that type of gesture on Maddox. “I trust Kieran to find it. If he needs my aid, I’ll give it, but I’m hesitant to leave the Underworld right now.”

His tone sets me on edge. “Why is that?”

“There are rumblings and rumors,” he says in a grave tone. “Something big is brewing.”

“Like what?”

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