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I want so much more than that, but that’s all I have a reasonable chance of getting right now. There are times when Zora will begrudge me more time in her bed, not just for sex, but for casual talk. When she’s in the mood, we’ve had many a great conversation and even shared some laughs.
And there are times when she goes dark and doesn’t want anything from me but the pleasure I dole out.
She hesitates, but then pushes again. “I said you need to go.”
Rearing back, I take one of her hands and hold it between us. “What is this? Why do you always push me away?”
“Because I’m a god, and you’re a lowly—”
My hand covers her mouth, shutting off the words, and her eyes go round as saucers. Rage simmers, and I half expect her to bite me, so I say my piece as quickly as possible. “Come on, Zora. I’ve been sharing your bed for a year now, and I’ve gotten to know all your little quirks. Why do you keep me at a distance? Why can’t we lie here and talk? Why can’t you tell me what’s on your mind? I saw it on your face… you want to know something, so ask. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
I slide my hand away as her own gaze cuts left, refusing to meet mine. Grabbing her jaw, I force her attention back on me, which is a move that would get me killed by any other god should I try it with them.
“You know I’m your most devoted servant. I’ll do anything you ask. You just have to ask it. It’s okay to seek help.”
Once again, I see a glimmer, maybe of hope, that what I say is true. Or maybe I want to believe that because it’s gone before I can ponder it anymore.
“I command you to do something for me,” she says softly.
And while her tone suggests I could talk her out of it, the minute she says she’s commanding me it means I have to obey. A demigod must obey his creator.
“What?” I snarl.
“I want you to go see Amell. Help ensure his domain is protected from the recent uprising. There are rumors that others are plotting against him.”
Fury pulses within me, not for her refusal to open up and admit we have something more than orgasms, but for making me work with Amell. The last time we saw each other, we nearly tore apart the mountain her chalet sits upon.
But I can’t disobey. “Is that all?” I grit out.
Her gaze locks with mine, and her chin lifts. “That is all.”
I roll off her body, moving about her room to pick up my clothes. I dress as she rolls to her side and watches me with shuttered eyes.
When I’m clothed, I head out of her bedroom. I could bend distance out of here and straight into the Underworld, but I want to say goodbye to Uorsin and Mattia. I love those fucking dogs as much as I love their owner, and at least they love me back.
“Maddox,” Zora says, halting me. I turn back to look at her, tamping down hopefulness. She leans up in the bed, one elbow into the mattress, clutching the sheets to her chest. “I’m sorry I can’t be what you want.”
“You’re a god,” I say with censure. “You can do whatever the fuck you want.”
Her eyes drop away and it’s as it’s always been. She’s gone.
With a sigh, I leave the dogs alone and bend distance to the Underworld. It’s actually preferable to staying here, no matter how much I hate Amell.
CHAPTER 3
Zora
As gods, wecan exist and live wherever we want. If I wanted to float in outer space and live among the stars, I could. I’m beyond immortal.
But I happen to be low-key, so my small mountain home in Switzerland does me just fine. I have no clue where my brethren live. We don’t socialize. We don’t see each other outside of our Council meetings unless it’s to discuss business.
I’m still trying to figure out exactly what our business is. I’m an absolute baby—not even an adolescent in my understanding of what it means to be a god. It’s so confusing, and I struggle to make sense of everything. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round that keeps spinning faster and faster, and I’m trying to see things but they’re whizzing by so fast I can’t comprehend the flashes. I hold on to my bobbing carousel horse, heart feeling like it’s going to explode out of my chest. The pressure is immense—I need to perform, govern, protect, and rule—and all of it is like a colossal boulder pressing me down.
There are days where I sometimes envy the solitude of my life back in the Underworld. I had no love, no guidance, and I was used in a painful way to channel dark magic, and yet, sometimes it feels like that was easier.
Today I must meet with my sibling gods so I merely step from my house, Uorsin and Mattia watching me with tilted heads, and straight onto a dais where my brethren wait.
I don’t know what this place is, but I know to come to it when we have to meet and discuss matters. Just like I know if I thought of anyone in particular who was not a god and wished them dead, they would be so.
