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I tipped my head to the side stubbornly. “Then why do they get sent when patients are in the hospital?”
Mom waved me off. “That’s meaningless. Especially when every hospital sells their own flowers.”
Her accuracy hit me hard in the chest. For most things, there was already a service that provided the flowers, whether it was online, the grocery store, or the hospital, and even some of the historic museums in the area had their own gardens.
If only I could partner with them and somehow make it work for me. The tingling of an idea came to me, and I wanted to write it down before I forgot it. The key in this ever-changing world was going with the flow, not against it. If only I could find a way for it to work for me.
But right now, my mother’s presence was taking up all the space in my shop. I didn’t feel hopeful or positive. I just felt shame, which was exactly how she wanted me to feel.
Mom would love if I quit and did whatever she deemed to be worthy. She didn’t care if it made me miserable. The problem was, I had nothing else to offer. School wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t excel in it like Cora did.
“Why are you here?” It wasn’t to see what I was doing with my business. She just wanted evidence that failure was imminent. She fed on that energy.
“Cora’s new practice is throwing a grand opening party. You should be there.”
I already planned to go to support my sister, but it grated to have my mom demand it. It would be a tough evening for me. Mom would rub Cora’s success in my face and use it as another reason to prove that I didn’t measure up.
“Maybe you could learn something from her.”
“What could I possibly learn? She’s a doctor,” I asked stupidly, falling right into her trap.
“How to run a viable business. How to align yourself with the right people to get what you want. The importance of education.”
Not going to college had been a source of arguments for years. I’d tried community college, but my heart wasn’t in it. I got a job in an office so I could move out of my parents’ house. My grandmother encouraged me to follow my passion for horticulture, but my parents wouldn’t pay for any classes unless they were purely academic.
“College isn’t for me.” I’d taken a few business courses when I decided to open the shop, but I never told my parents. I knew they’d encourage me to get my four-year degree, and I didn’t need that in order to run a store.
They were a ridiculous contrast. They supported education, but only if the outcome was the one they wanted. I could major in business but not run a flower shop.
“When it doesn’t work out, you’ll run back to us,” Mom said, seemingly satisfied with her conclusion.
I shook my head. “That won’t happen.”
The last person I’d ask for help was my family. I was polite to them, but I didn’t feel like I fit in. I didn’t feel loved and appreciated. I felt like a project they needed to fix.
Mom’s lips pursed. “You won’t like the alternative. If you don’t have money, you won’t have a house to live in or food to eat.”
“I have Grandma’s house and van,” I said, knowing I was being stubborn for continuing the argument. Usually, I just agreed with her until she left, knowing I’d never change her mind.
Mom leaned in close. “Have you paid the taxes on the property yet? You won’t be able to afford the upkeep.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said dryly. What mother wanted their kids to fail just so they could say I told you so? Just mine, apparently.
Mom leaned back with a hand on her hip. “If you’d listened to us from the beginning, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I don’t feel like I’m in a situation.” I was living my dream. That’s what I told myself on the days when I didn’t see a lot of customers, or when someone told me, in passing, they could pick up something cheaper at the grocery store.
“You’ll see,” Mom said as she walked out.
I wouldn’t see things her way. We’d never been on the same page. Even as a kid, I was too carefree and happy for her, whereas Cora was more studious and reserved. My parents didn’t know what to do with a free spirit. That’s why I ended up at Grandma’s more often than not.
I wanted to jump in puddles and play in the mud. I didn’t care about getting dirty or what others might think. How much had I changed over the years to appease them? It was never enough.
I watched her walk down the sidewalk and slide into her sedan. Over the years, I told myself I didn’t care about money, but the reality was, I needed it to live. To make my dreams a possibility, I needed to make the shop profitable. I didn’t want my mother to win.
There had to be something that would draw customers in. That would make customers want to drive or walk the extra mile to see arrangements. I just needed to figure out what it was. Every time I thought about it, the farm popped into my mind. I needed to find a way to incorporate the farm with the shop.
I’d hosted a yoga class on the property. It had been everything I’d dreamed of—a promise of things to come. But the property wasn’t ready yet. I didn’t want to host any more events until it was.
