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But if Ryan could settle down, with my sister no less, then it made me wonder if there was someone out there for me. A good girl who’d think I was worth redeeming.
I swallowed over the hard lump in my throat when Lily’s image popped into my mind. She was caring and determined. The way she was, I knew I’d crush her light with my darkness.
A weight pressed on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
Hailey pressed a hand over mine. “You okay?”
Ryan was laughing at something Corey said, and I was conscious that Nana might be listening in, so I lowered my voice. “Yeah, just thinking about work stuff.”
Hailey withdrew her hand. “Ryan mentioned that you were thinking about helping Lily with her van.”
“I can remember her grandmother, Dottie, driving that old thing around town. She was always buying flowers and plants. It’s not too surprising her granddaughter is the same way,” Nana said with affection.
Ryan was looking at me, waiting for my answer.
“We didn’t make any decisions yet. It was just something he suggested.”
Hailey played with her food. “Well, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Mmm,” I said noncommittally.
“You know it would be amazing publicity. Ryan thinks the newspaper would do a story on it. What could be better?”
Me not being around Lily for the amount of time necessary to fix her van.
“I’ll handle it if that’s the issue,” Ryan finally suggested.
“That’s not it.” My tone was gruffer than I intended.
“Then what is?” Hailey asked.
She and Ryan both knew that I was more likely to give in if she was doing the asking.
“I’m just not ready to decide yet. What’s wrong with taking your time?”
“Ryan said she’s looking at new vehicles. It doesn’t sound like you have much time to consider it if you want to take advantage of the situation.”
“That’s what he said.”
“It would be amazing to help a fellow shop owner. It’s good for the community too.”
“Since when do I care about the community?” I broke off a large chunk of crusty bread and stuffed it into my mouth. At least I couldn’t speak with my mouth full.
Ryan shook his head. “What we do matters to the community. We talked about this.”
I knew what he meant. I saw the value in it; I just didn’t want to do it. I could have said Ryan should handle it, but then he’d be the one talking to Lily, listening to her prattle on about that junky van she drove. The one that reminded her of her grandmother. He’d get the satisfaction when Lily saw it restored. No matter how much I knew I should stay away from her, I wanted to see her reactions up close.
I wanted to be the one to make her happy. Christ. Where had that come from? Other than Hailey and Nana, I couldn’t care less if anyone around me was happy. Now that circle had expanded to include Ryan and Corey. But I wasn’t keen on adding more people to my inner circle.
“I offered to handle it. You don’t like that idea. But you need to get on board with it soon or I will take charge. I’m not letting this opportunity go.”
“I have to agree with Ryan on this one. Whatever your reasons are, I think they’re related to our fu—” Hailey broke off, her gaze darting to Nana and Corey, then back to me—“messed-up past. You won’t be able to move on until you deal with it.”
I shrugged, not wanting to deal with any of this at the dinner table with Corey listening to us.
Ryan shook his head. “Clock is ticking, old man.”
“Message received. I’ll let you know in a few days.”
