AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Shortly after, her breathing evened out, but I was awake for a while, alternating between stroking her back and touching the strands of her hair. I wanted to savor every minute because it couldn’t last.
I didn’t question that conclusion; I just knew it with every fiber of my being. Lily wasn’t meant for me. I wouldn’t be able to give her what she needed. Love, a family, a home. She deserved all those things. Much more than I could provide.
Despite what Ryan said, I didn’t deserve the same things as him. I could never trust that it would last. I don’t know how Hailey did it. I think it was because she was younger when Mom left. It affected her differently.
I didn’t hold out hope. I knew it was pointless to wish for something that would never happen. And Lily was the same. I knew we weren’t right for each other. Not in all the ways that mattered. We had this physical connection that was amazing, but that was pure chemistry. She could replicate that with someone else, and I couldn’t offer the things she really needed.
I pushed away thoughts about how the sex was more than physical. I wasn’t ready to face any of the feelings she evoked in me. It was too much. Too overwhelming.
I finally closed my eyes, content with her in my arms, her floral scent surrounding me. She was perfect, and for a short time, she was mine. That had to be enough.
* * *
I woke with a start the next morning, disoriented. The sun was bright on my face, the smell of eggs and bacon permeating the air. The sheets under my skin were soft, and a fan whirred overhead, cooling my skin. I wasn’t at home.
I blinked my eyes open slowly, not wanting to wake from the most amazing dream.
It was Lily’s bedroom, with the wood paneling, the fresh flowers, and the large antique furniture. I’d wanted to wake her with my tongue, but I must have overslept. The clock on the nightstand read six-thirty.
Not wanting to waste a minute of my time with Lily, I lifted the sheet and swung my feet over the edge of the mattress, settling on a soft rug. Standing, I quickly located my briefs and jeans on the floor and pulled them on. Not finding my shirt, I ran a hand through my fingers, stopping in the bathroom to finger brush my teeth with toothpaste.
Feeling better, I grabbed my phone and boots and headed down the steps to follow the smell of bacon.
Walking down the hall to the back of the house, I was surprised to see a renovated kitchen that was modern and airy. The light-colored cabinets brightened the space. Lily stood at the large island, her back facing me as she fussed with something on the plate in front of her.
I couldn’t resist going to her, pulling her back against my front, and burrowing my face into her hair, which was loose around her shoulders. I relished this moment, knowing I was an idiot for bailing so early the other day.
Lily turned in my arms to face me, her palms on my chest. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” I said, not remembering the last time I’d said and meant that statement.
She smiled widely in response.
“You cooked?” My heart pounded in my chest.
“You were sleeping so peacefully; I didn’t want to wake you.” Her cheeks flushed. Was it from the heat of the stove or me?
I ran the back of my hand against her cheek. “But I had plans for you this morning.”
Her cheeks flushed a deeper pink. “I wanted to let you sleep.” She moved slightly away from me. “Breakfast is ready. Do you prefer orange juice or coffee?”
“Coffee,” I said as I rounded the counter to sit on one of the stools.
This scene was domestic, the kind I’d missed as a child and avoided as an adult. A simple breakfast led to expectations. I’d been disappointed enough in my life. I didn’t like to set myself up for more. But I couldn’t resist her.
She set a plate in front of me piled high with fluffy-looking eggs, crispy bacon, and a slice of wheat toast.
I breathed in the aroma, wanting to savor it. “This looks great.”
“Breakfast is easy.”
“Still. I appreciate the effort.” Very few, other than Nana and Hailey, ever made me a meal. I always appreciated it but never expected it from anyone I was dating.
Lily set the coffee mug in front of me before rounding the island with her dish. Sitting next to me, she sipped her mug, closing her eyes at the flavor.
Was she one of those people who appreciated everything around her and always hoped for the best? I wondered how that worked for her. I usually suspected the worst, so I’d never be disappointed.
I took a large bite of eggs, not wanting her to notice I was struggling with anything. “These are amazing, Lily.”
