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“If you want to protect Lily, that’s your prerogative.”
“I don’t think that’s my place anymore. I messed up last night. I didn’t leave her in a good place.”
“You left because your mom showed up?”
“And because Lily’s mom talked to me at the party.”
Ryan rubbed his hands together. “That can’t be good. What wisdom did she impart?”
“That I was bringing Lily down, and I’d ruin her business in the long run.” I shared easily because Ryan understood me, my worries, my fears, and every anxiety I’d ever had.
Ryan shook his head and then leveled his gaze at mine. “I can sit here and disprove every point she tried to make last night, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe them.”
“It hit hard last night. She played on every one of my weaknesses.”
Ryan tipped his head to the side. “And now?”
In the light of day, with my mom gone, I felt empty. I didn’t feel great about what I’d done. My savings were gone. Lily was upset with me. When Ryan left, I’d be alone in this house. He was building a family with Hailey, Corey, and now a new baby.
I had nothing. The realization hit me like a Mack truck to my chest. “By leaving Lily, I was protecting myself, not her.”
Ryan nodded. “I’m glad you can finally see it. You haven’t let yourself get close to anyone.”
“I made an exception for Lily because she’s different. I have feelings for her.” Big, huge, scary feelings that put her in my risk-of-abandonment box. She could walk away at any time, and it would destroy me.
“You won’t know if you don’t try. Isn’t she worth fighting for?”
Energy surged through me despite the alcohol and lack of sleep. “How do I get her back?”
I was worried it was too little, too late.
“What does Lily want?”
“Her business to be a success. To hold events on the farm. Her cars restored and beautiful.”
“Restoring Berta and the GTO are our specialty.”
“We need to hire help at the garage. I’m going to be busy for a while.”
“It’s about time,” Ryan said with a grin.
Ideas swirled through my head. I wanted to give Lily everything. The question was, should I do a few things to prove myself to her or talk to her first?
“What else do you have planned?” Ryan asked me as he leaned forward.
We discussed everything I knew about Lily, what she needed, and her hopes and fears. When I had a solid plan, I said, “I just hope it’s enough.”
Twenty-Three
LILY
Ever since Jake walked away last night, I felt hollow. Bereft. I was in shock. The night had been better than I hoped. I’d been looking forward to going home and celebrating with the man I loved. I was prepared to tell him how I felt. I didn’t care if he reciprocated because I was almost positive he felt it, even if he wasn’t ready to acknowledge it yet.
I was on such a high, but as soon as Jake returned from the bathroom, he was different. He was distant and troubled. Was it possible someone said something to him? I could only imagine what my mom or dad would have said.
I wanted to fix it, but I couldn’t if Jake didn’t want to. If something happened, I couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell me. Then there was that phone call. Who was it? Who had the power to change his whole demeanor? It was like he’d turned to stone. His jaw was hard, his muscles tense. The only conclusion I came to was that it was his mother, or maybe an ex. But he’d said he didn’t have any serious ex-girlfriends.
The only thing that comforted me was that he hadn’t been in a relationship before. He was bound to screw up. I could only hope he figured things out and apologized. And soon. Because I wasn’t waiting around on a guy to figure out his shit. I was done fixing others.
