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“No,” I say and glance at War. His face is blank and he gives me nothing. “I don’t want the ranch.”
“Oh, right. Okay, that makes sense, I guess.” She nods to herself and I wonder if she was hoping I’d push Daisy out or if she misses being on the family payroll. “Then what do you want?”
“It’s complicated, but I’m really not here for the ranch. I’m just here to say goodbye to my dad and for War to get paid for a job, that’s all.”
“Huh.” Kerry doesn’t look like she believes me, and I can’t blame her. Intrigue is practically baked into this place. “Well, I’d be careful of Daisy. I’m sure you figured that out already, but she’s seriously gunning for you.”
“We’re aware,” War says without smiling.
“Is there anything else you can tell us?” I press. “Anything about Daisy and the way she took over?”
“Just that it was strange the way everyone fell into line. Uncle Lovett really went to bat for her early on and then Uncle Dudley stood behind her, and I guess everyone else realized the two main contenders for control were backing her and they might as well too. But it was Uncle Lovett in those early weeks that really got things going.”
I glance at War and nod. “All right, we’ll talk to him.”
“Good luck with that. Seriously, Melody, good luck. I don’t know if you’ll ever get the closure you deserve, but I hope you’re doing better now. Can I tell you one more thing?”
“Sure, go ahead.” I feel exhausted like a weight’s holding my shoulders down. Kerry starts heading out again and I stay behind with War.
“You should get the hell out of here and forget this place exists,” Kerry says without looking back. “I sure as heck wish I could.”
And then she’s gone, heading toward the woods with Lily, walking at a slow clip. I watch her for a little while without speaking, with War standing close by my side. Eventually, he breaks the silence.
“That went well,” he says.
“It did?” I look at him and tilt my head. “I only cried once so I guess that’s a win.”
“I mean we got a lead. Uncle Lovett. And you got an apology.”
“For all the good it’ll do me.”
He puts a hand out to stop me from walking past him. “Seriously, Melody. I know you’re holding onto something awful, and I’m not going to make you tell me what it is, but accept the gift Kerry just gave you.”
“And what gift is that?” I stare into his face, wondering if he could possibly understand the way I’m feeling right now.
“She gave you the right to disappear. She acknowledged that what happened to you was fucked up. At least one person that was around when it all went down understands how badly they hurt you. That’s got to mean something.”
And it does. He’s right, it does. Kerry’s apology knocked a feeling loose in me, an emotion I haven’t felt in a long time.
For years, I’ve felt only a mix of anger and fear and pride and a driving need to be believed, to be taken seriously, and above all, to be loved.
As we approach the barn, I slow and let myself take a few deep breaths. This air, I grew up in this air. I grew up on this land.
And that feeling in my body is peace, calm, and ease. I haven’t felt any of that for so long because I’ve been holding on to the hell I went through, but maybe Kerry’s apology will help me release all that ugly negativity, and maybe I can move on.
“I want to talk to Uncle Lovett,” I say and look at War. “And I want you there to back me up.”
“Gladly,” he says.
“You don’t owe this to me. Uncle Lovett’s going to be pissed, and I can’t promise things won’t get ugly. You don’t have to dig yourself any deeper.”
He reaches out suddenly and takes my hand. I startle and stare at him but he doesn’t let me go. “I don’t have to do anything, lovely Melody,” he says softly and tugs me up against him. I stare up into his eyes, too surprised to stop this. “But I want to.”
And he kisses me. I linger in that kiss as a wave of emotion hits me. The apology, the fear, and now this excitement. It’s almost too much and I’m afraid that if I let it, I’ll drown in overstimulation.
His lips pull back and I’m breathing hard. “You could’ve just said yes,” I whisper.
“Saying yes is one thing, but showing you is another. Besides, I like kissing you, and I like that you let me.”
