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“I don’t want to talk about War.” I pat Bomber and move away from him, leaving the stall. Kat hops down and follows me, hands shoved into the pockets of her jeans.
“Which to me says you and him did something you shouldn’t have.”
I pause in the paddock and take a deep breath. “That’s one way of saying it.” I think of War’s hands on my body, his lips at my neck. Those hours we spent at the top of the tower together were some of the best of my life. I didn’t know I could feel that way, that overriding and incredible passion. I thought I was stuck in this gray area, never quite feeling anything, always running away from my own emotions.
Instead, War woke something up. His touch, his kiss, the way he loved my body and praised my every move, it was addictive and overwhelming, and now he’s like a song I can’t get out of my head, but it’s a song I love to sing.
“What happened out there, Melody?” Kat asks and stands close next to me. “I just want to know if you’re okay, and what I can do if you’re not.”
I squint into the distance and wipe away tears. “I’m not okay,” I admit. “I’m really, really far from okay.”
Kat leads me to the picnic tables, sits me down, gets us both some tea, and hold my hand. “I’m listening,” she says.
And I tell her. Some of it, not all of it, but I tell her about hooking up with War and catching feelings, I tell her about Daisy and my uncles and how everyone treated me like I was a monster, and how even after all this time that place is still a nightmare, and those people are still awful, and going back there only made me certain I never want to go back again.
“But if things were getting good with War, where is he now?” Kat presses and I sip my tea to buy myself some time.
I could come up with a story, and I could even make it convincing, but I’m tired of lying and making shit up and wrapping the truth in a pretty veneer. “He was working for my dad the whole time,” I finally say.
“Didn’t you know that already?” she asks.
“Turns out, my dad wanted War to convince me to marry him.” I clear my throat, trying to stop the stone that lodges there. I tell her what I know and how it all came crashing down.
Kat sighs and comes around to sit next to me. She hugs me tightly, really tightly. “Fuck him,” she says. “God, Melody, I am so, so sorry. I’ve never seen you care about a guy before and now suddenly it’s like—you really fell for him, didn’t you?”
I nod, feeling so stupid, but she’s right. I fell for War in a way I never imagined. I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me too, or at least I believed him when he said it and I wanted it to be true so badly.
But I knew he was a liar. I knew it, and I decided not to think about it, because I liked his lies and I wanted them to be real.
Instead, I ended up burning myself, and I don’t think I’ll ever trust again.
“I just want to put it behind me,” I say. “It’s over now.”
“If you want, I can have Ford put a hit out on him. We know some people.” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Dangerous people. You know what I mean?”
“No, thanks, I don’t think using your mob connections will help me now.”
She laughs and shrugs. “Offer stands.”
“War has his own problems. Or at least I think he does. The problem is, I don’t know what he told me was real, and what he said just to trick me into liking him.”
“You’re home now. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. I just want you to heal, and move on, and don’t let that lying asshole break your heart and leave it broken.”
“I’m not sure if I can glue back the pieces.”
“You can,” she says and leans her head on my shoulder. “And you will. Just give it time.”
Except I’ve been giving it time since I left Leader Ranch all those years ago. I gave it time and I waited and I never quite healed, at least until War appeared back in my life. Dangerous, mysterious War. The boy that dropped out of school and disappeared. The hurricane that tore my life to pieces. The liar and the killer.
It’s sad how much we have in common.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I say and finish my tea. “I’m finished with War and I just want to forget he ever existed.”
“That’s the spirit. Fuck him.” She gets up and stretches. “Come on, let’s go for a walk and talk about how much he sucks. Or about whatever you want.”
“Fill me in on what happened when I was gone,” I say and squeeze her hand. “And thanks for listening.”
“Anytime. And you didn’t miss too much.” She talks as we wander away.
