AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She was there?
I run my palm over my face and blow out a breath. The room feels as though it’s closing in. I need to get myself under control and not let the emotion that threatens to pull me under win.
Eventually, footsteps enter the room, alerting me of Austin’s return, but I ignore him and remain focused on the book.
I can’t believe she did all this. I can’t believe she was there.
“I’m sure she would have my balls in a vise for telling you this—” The mention of Riley anywhere near his balls has my blood boiling and my head whipping up so fast I’m surprised I didn’t give myself whiplash. “—but I don’t think she ever missed a game, or if she did, she recorded it and watched it later. You broke her, Coop. She had just lost her dream, lost Tanner—” His voice breaks finally at the mention of his brother’s name. “—and she needed you. And you just up and left. Like, what the fuck, man. She might be strong, but you chip away at a brick wall long and hard enough, it’s going to crumble.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He shakes his head and steadies his features. “Not my story to tell. You’ll have to let her tell you.” Well, with how we left things between us last night, I don’t think that will be happening.
I close the book and balance it on my knees. “Can I keep this?”
Austin nods. “Yeah, I found it in the trash this morning, so I don’t think she’s going to be looking for it anytime soon.”
I’d be lying if I said that didn’t sting.Shit, I really fucked up.
“For the record, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble by coming home,” I say as he escorts me to the front door.
“I know,” Austin sighs as he shuts the door behind me, leaving me more confused than ever.
Chapter 17
Cooper
AfterleavingAustin’shouse,there was only one place I could think of going. I’m seriously thinking maybe I should have my head examined for the time I spend in a cemetery of my own free will. Then again, when Tanner was alive, he was the person I came to when I needed him, and we spent so much time together. Whyshould that be any different in death?
I grab the scrapbook from the passenger seat of my truck and walk the few feet away to my best friend’s final resting place. Dropping the album to the ground, I take a seat and rest back against the tree.
There are fresh flowers in the metal vase beside the stone. They weren’t here last night.Were his parents just here?I look around for a car but come up empty.
Sinking back against the tree, I welcome the rough scrape against my skin through the material of the shirt and pick at the grass beside me.
“I fucked up, man. God, I wish you were here. You could tell me what to do.” I scoff. “Actually, no, that’s not true. You would’ve stopped me from leaving, and now you would’ve told me ‘I told you so.’”
As if I flipped a switch, the tears unleash. Tears for love, for loss, for the moments missed, the what-ifs and pain I put her through. These tears just aren’t for Tanner; they’re for Riley, for me, for us. Not only was last night enough to show me how much I hurt her, but this book beside me is just as much.
Everything always comes back to this accident. Every moment over the last six years stemmed from that night. A domino effect, so to speak, and that accident was the tipping point that set everything off. Whenever I think I have a handle on my grief, the darkness latches on and drags me back under. I’m drowning in myself.
I don’t know how long I stare at the stone in silence. Could be hours; could only be minutes. Using the bottom of my sleeve, I wipe under my eyes.Thank fuck no one else is around.
“I’d give anything for just one conversation. Just one,” I beg to no one. I know life doesn’t work like that, but fuck, I wish I did. I rest my forehead on my arms, close my eyes, and let the silence take over, showing me how truly alone I am. Maybe that’s the way I’m meant to be.
Leaves crunch under the weight of someone’s footsteps, and without lifting my head, I know that they’ve taken a seat beside me.
The smell of cinnamon fills the air, and I whip my head up.
“Hey, Coop.”
I blink rapidly at my best friend’s face. Okay, yeah, I definitely need to have my head examined.
“You’re not here. You can’t be,” I stutter.
“Can’t I?” He brings his knees up and rests his elbows on them, matching my position.
“No,” I choke out. “You died. I saw you lying there. You—”
