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He hadn’t left her alone, though. He’d assigned Koro, a bejewelled Iccythrian security guard the size of two mountains, to her detail. The hulk followed her daily to work and returned to Kage’s apartment. He sat outside in a large armchair, unmoving and stone-faced, refusing any offer of food or conversation, entirely focused on keeping her safe. Kage had assured her Koro was one of the best bodyguards in the System, and she believed it.
However, Kage had also been distant via his comm messages, and Harlow missed him. Frustratingly, there was nothing she could do about it.
She wondered whether he was staying away deliberately.
Harlow found herself wishing she’d never opened up in the first place. That she’d spent more time fixing herself than launching into dating Kage a few days shy of her hard deadline. She felt discouraged because although she sensed she’d found something unique with Kage, now he was keeping away.
Part of Harlow knew it was inevitable. It was his choice. She knew she’d done the right thing letting him in, but she also had to deal with the fact it’d be his choice to walk away from them altogether if he decided to. That juncture had not been reached yet, but she was terrified he’d make that call after their chat. That he would place her in the ‘too much to handle’ box.
The other part of her couldn’t help but feel like she would never find another partner she could be genuinely open with — one who could handle all of her. Her heart sunk at the thought.
She also had no clue how to shake the profound loneliness suddenly drowning her.
In the past few weeks, this time of day was when she and Kage had usually got together for dinner as the hustle of the day wound down. She missed him so much.
Which was why she found herself calling Selene one evening after work. As the trilling sound of the outgoing comm rang out through Kage’s empty warehouse apartment, she heard it echo against the walls and sighed. Outside, Eden II’s dome was giving off a dusky vibe, imbuing the atmosphere with deep blue-purple motes as the last rays of starlight cast a warm glow over the landscape.
‘Hey woman!’ her friend said, popping up on her comm tab screen. She sat framed by a stunning swirling nebula painting in her home office at the Prime Residence of Dunia.
‘You busy?’ Harlow asked softly.
Selene immediately clued in on her mood and leaned into the screen. ‘Not for you. What’s wrong?’
‘Need some advice. If you have the time for it.’
‘Of course. Kage?’
‘How did you know?’
‘Lucky guess. Only one thing gets to Super Miss Confident, and that’s men. Been like that since I’ve known you. How are things going with him?’
Harlow sighed. ‘He’s a beautiful man, no doubt. So kind, strong, and, honestly, my kind of hero. He was so amazing when my suite was attacked.’
‘I heard about that. You OK?’
‘I’m fine physically. But the attack has left me shaken. Not because I’m not safe but because it’s triggered my fears from the past. I shared these with Kage, and the next day he disappeared. I’m not sure whether it’s because of what I told him. He insisted I reach out to my therapist and confide in them. But I didn’t imagine it’d overwhelm him, and he’d keep away like this.’
Selene shook her head. ‘Not sure you’re the reason he’s avoiding you. Kainan shared there’s been some threat to The Sable Group hanging over all their heads now. Perhaps he’s busy working on that.’
Harlow shrugged. ‘Perhaps. But he’s so cool and distant in messages. He’s not calling as often. It’s like he’s done with me or rethinking our connection. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’ve got this sinking feeling that I’m about to get bad news from him. Thing is, I like Kage. I’m falling for him, Sel. I was letting myself get comfortable with caring for him and I started to see our future. Now I can’t see a way past this.’
‘What’s bothering you the most?’ Selene asked.
‘The distance. The coolness in his messages. It makes this so much harder, and I’m feeling jaded. Like, I’d rather be alone than be played with.’
Selene contemplated Harlow’s words for a long moment. Then she, too, shared. ‘Kainan did the disappearing act on me a few times. Mainly because he didn’t think I would accept him with the chimera diagnosis he had. Kage’s no-show sounds a little different. Like he’s busy and also like he wants to give you the time to find that healing and transformation you were promising yourself. Especially if he told you to speak with your therapist. Kage has done a lot of therapy in the past, as have most of the Riders. They’ve been through the darkest of dark and understand the power of effective tools to help you get through the bad times. Maybe he wants you to use those tools to get the healing you need.’
‘Maybe,’ Harlow said tentatively. She’d never felt so unsure in her entire life about a man.
‘Why don’t you reach out to your therapist for constructive guidance and support? Then speak to Kage about it. About your fears and your worry that he’s pulling away. When you chat with him, breathe, relax, and communicate. The goal is to handle it with grace.’
‘Will he think I’m being unreasonable?’ Harlow asked.
‘Give Kage the benefit of the doubt. He may be intense, but he’s also the most caring man I know, apart from Kainan. He’s deeply intuitive and has probably clued in already on what you’ll bring up. He’s also a good listener, so I hope the conversation with him is more productive for your input. We’re never too old to stop learning.’
Harlow paused to take in Selene’s words. She took a deep breath and smiled. ‘So true, hon. Thank you for that wisdom and insight. From the Prime of an entire planet no less.’
‘Anytime,’ Selene said with a smile.
