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He didn’t keep her waiting too long. As soon as they’d finished dessert, he put away the dishes, insisting on washing up. When he was done, he poured two snifters of whisky. He held one of the glasses and gently swirled the whisky around the bowl to release its notes. He then handed it to her and gestured that she join him on his king-size couch.
Once they settled into its depths, Kage lifted his glass and sipped. Then, he tipped his glass at her, asking her to do the same.
She took a small sip of the whisky and let it roll around her mouth. The flavour coated her tongue and palate, imbuing warmth infused with oak, vanilla, fruit, honey, and smoke.
She watched Kage swallow his drink as the corded muscles in his neck rippled.
‘Fokk whisky is so sensual,’ he said with a lazy smile that left her weak.
‘It’s certainly relaxing,’ she whispered.
‘That’s the point. Think you need it too.’
‘I do,’ confessing her nervousness.
His silver eyes flicked over her face. ‘Floor’s yours,’ he murmured.
Her eyes widened at his offer. She’d practised what to say in her head for days now. Yet she found her mind floundering for words. She felt apprehensive but figured she’d rather rip the band-aid off. The longer she hesitated, the longer the awkwardness built.
Finally, she squared her shoulders and began.
‘I want to apologise for the other night. In particular, for not asking how you felt after sharing my problems, nightmares and experience with you.’
She was rushing her words, so she took a quick breath and went on, this time slower and more considered. ‘It was never my intention to overwhelm you, Kage, but I didn’t know how much to tell you. So I told you a lot. I sometimes struggle to speak face-to-face with clarity, and sharing such heavy darkness is uncomfortable. I only wanted to show you how I felt because you have a place in my life, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was hiding anything.’
He nodded slowly, watching her over the edge of his snifter.
‘Since then, and correct me if I’m wrong,’ she said hesitantly, ‘It feels like something’s changed between us. You’ve been away. The distance over our comm messages is noticeable. You’ve given me shorter answers. Even tonight, we didn’t kiss when we first saw each other. You seem less enthusiastic. I understand it may have been too much this early in our relationship and that all of me might be too heavy for you. That said, I want to know if you’re alright or if you struggled with what I shared.’
Kage rubbed a hand over his face. He tipped his head back, eyes closed for a long moment to find his words. Moments passed before he opened them slowly and leaned forward, elbows on his powerful thighs.
‘Ah,kara,’ he said slowly. ‘I’d kinda guessed that’s why you asked me to dinner. Know this, love; I did not mean to pull back. I’m so sorry if that’s how it came across. Me not being here or being present comes down to bad timing - there’s stuff going down with The Sable Group. Serious shit. Also, when you shared the other night, I felt you withdraw and thought you needed the space and I didn’t want to press or scare you off by being all over you while you worked out how to move forward.’
Hearing Kage try to explain his side of things for Harlow was surreal because no man in her life had ever taken accountability before. Neither had they ever been considerate when they were not on the same page. Instead, Harlow was deeply shocked to be met by her man’s level of understanding and mature communication.
‘I am moving forward,’ she told him gently. ‘I’ve made an appointment with my therapist. I could use some skills when it comes to managing my fears. I’m not only out of practice but not clued about dealing with some of the things I’ve struggled with recently.’
Kage nodded, pursing his lips. ‘Ace to hear,kara. Because you did go into a shell the morning after you told me about your nightmares. The energy shift threw me, to be truthful. I was trying to respect you by not pressing or smothering you. I feared scaring you off by being too forward and present because you sometimes give off the impression you need space by being a bit distant.’
Harlow nodded ruefully. ‘You’re right. I did. I sometimes can’t see it myself, but I admit I’ve always withdrawn when I’ve felt overexposed or emotionally vulnerable. I know I went very quickly into fear mode because it was hard for me to believe you were someone different to the men I knew in my past and that I, broken and bruised from my past, am still enough of you.’
Kage set aside his glass and took her hands in his. He kissed one palm, then the other. ‘Kara, I admire, very much, the fact that you care enough about me to push outside your comfort zone and talk a bit about your dark with me. As well as your happy.Sante.’
Harlow’s heart sang. It was more than she’d hoped for - respect and curiosity but with legitimate care. It felt like Kage genuinely wanted to carry some of the weight and be a truly equal partner to her.
‘You’re enough, love,’ he went on. ‘You’re more than enough. Are you ready to believe that?’
She nodded, feeling a renewed sense of connection and closeness. ‘I am. It’s still a journey, though. I may need more patience.’
‘I know that. I may not like it and even lose it at one point in the waiting. But I’m here for the long haul, woman,’ he murmured. Then his arms were around her, and he pulled her onto his lap.
Harlow gave Kage a long look. ‘I don’t want this chat to be all about me and my darkness. What’s your dark, the thing you keep mentioning but not talking about?’
Kage shook his head. ‘You don’t want to know.’
‘But I do. I can’t be the only one sharing and vulnerable here. It takes two, baby.’
Kage flicked his eyes to Harlow. ‘You’re sure you’re ready for this?’
