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Later that night, I was on the couch with Angelina. We were watching some movie that I wasn't paying attention to. I was paying more attention to Angelina and her wide eyes when she was interested in something. She would bite her lower lip, which was the sexiest thing ever. There wasn't a moment where I didn't want to kiss her. She was this sense of relief after a long day. I hated the term safe space. It felt like some sort of millennial form of softness. That was until I actually had a safe space, and it was Angelina. She was the girl who calmed me down when the rest of the world was chaotic.
Out of all the things that I could say to her, it confused me because this was what I said, "I don't have an end date to the contract in mind, and I barely think about it."
Her eyes remained glued to the TV. "I don't care." And then she snuggled up on me.
We were in a state of uncertainty. But I had a feeling that neither one of them minded. I didn't care where we would end up. At least not at that moment. I didn't. I was just happy to be in her presence. Hopefully, that's how it would stay. And hopefully, my brain, family, and circumstances will not get the best of us.
One could only hope.
Chapter 13
Angelina
MaybeIwaspsychic.Maybe I wasn't. But that day, I was leaning more toward the former. Because when I woke up, I had this gut instinct that the rest of the day would not be great. As a matter of fact, something told me that it was going to take a turn for the worst.
Again, that was only coming from a gut feeling.
It probably stemmed from Tomaso not being in bed when I woke up. It was always a mix of being in that big mansion and not having my protection around me that created that ominous feeling. But that day, I swear the ominous feeling was way worse.
To negate that feeling, I had to get myself moving. Half the time, that was the only way to combat negativity. Beat it with action.
I brought my feet to the floor and went to the bathroom to splash water on my face. Splashing that water turned into a shower. That calmed me down a little bit. It didn't do much in the way of my perspective. I still hated the feeling of being alone in that big mansion. I also couldn't help rehashing everything that had happened with that gunfight. It was almost like I had been to war and come back shell-shocked. It was a hard thing to shake. I guess I missed Tomaso. No one that he was out in the world, not wearing a bulletproof vest and always having a target on his back. It made sitting on the couch and watching a movie with him a million times more precious.
He didn't have an end date for the contract. He admitted that to me, and I continued replicating that in my mind for whatever reason. I guess it was because it made me feel we were on the same page. The first time I brought it up to him, it was petty. I had been angry. I had lost my way a little bit. I just wanted him to admit that he had no plan. So, when he said it last night without me even broaching the subject, I felt like I was on top of the world.
When you're in a world filled with uncertainty and your nerves are constantly being tested, you hang on to those little wins. You sit in them like a hot tub because you don't know when you'll ever get them again.
I went downstairs, and the quiet didn't bother me for once. Maybe I was getting a little use to the mansion after all. Or maybe it was the shower. All I knew was I never had concrete answers for anything anymore. When it came to things in my mind, everything felt like a guessing game. Another certain thing, though, was me jumping out of my skin when there was a knock at the door.
Do I answer it? Tomaso said nothing about not answering the door. But it also seems like common sense not to answer the door. Those micro-decisions were everything. Because what if I opened the door and got shot in the face? Months ago? That would not have been a possibility. Maybe a fleeting thought that I would push to the back of my mind because it was so absurd. But now, being the target that I was, anything was possible. I was one mistake away from my brains spattered all over the floor.
I didn't want to be a chicken. I didn't want to live in fear. No matter how stupid that sounded. I walked to the door and opened it.
Before me were two men in black suits. I had recognized them from Tomaso's crew. I had a surge of relief for me. But even with that relief, my leg tremored. I wasn't out of the woods yet. It was ordinary for his men to show up at his house. So in my mind, that told me something wasn't right.
I found it funny how this thought process happened within a few seconds in my head. Maybe not even a few seconds, maybe a few milliseconds.
"Can I help you, gentlemen?"
One of them looked past me. The other one looked at the ground. The one that looked past me said, " Tomaso's not home?"
"No, he's not. But I'm here, and I’m his fiance. You can tell me what's going on."
Okay, so that was very outlandish of me. They could definitely not tell me what was going on. In the mafia world, wives, fiances, and girlfriends weren't anything related to the business. That was my knowledge from at least watching The sopranos. But to my surprise, they both stepped in.
They looked around as if what they were doing was completely wrong. That was unsettling. That made my heart beat a little faster because what were they telling me? I wanted to think positively, but this situation was nothing positive. It went back to that ominous feeling from before. " Word is out that you have a contract for faking engagement. Tomaso's computer was hacked. We don't know by who. He had a copy of the contract within his files."
Now my heart was pounding so fast. I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. This wasn't only bad. This was probably one of my fears that came to life. Now I was implicated. Now I was part of this. I had lied to people.
" Hey, relax." The one man said after looking at my leg shake. I couldn't control it, nor could I control my breathing. I had been hyperventilating. I tried to keep it under wraps, but it looked pathetic. What could I do? I didn't want to die.
" Are people coming after me now? Are people going to come after Tomaso?"
They both look at one another. It was the only answer that I needed. But they gave me one anyway. "I would lock my doors. But I wouldn't lose sleep just yet."
"Why not?" My tone was less than polite.
The one man shrugged. " Because, when it comes to this type of business, moves aren't made suddenly. Something like this is like chess. If anyone has a problem with you or your fake fiancee, they will plan this out. That gives you time to plan things out. That gives the boss time to plant things out."
