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Her gaze wanders around the display cases, but I’m convinced that she won’t find anything she likes because she probably keeps thinking that this is all pretend.
I wish that she would enjoy it a little, that she thought about this as if it is really an engagement, but Penny's mind is too fragile for her to allow it to be guided in that way by fantasies.
Sighing with a hint of guilt, I leave the pieces the salesgirl is showing me behind and walk over to Penny, catching her in my arms and wrapping my fingers around her hips as her back leans against my chest.
She tenses up for a moment, but relaxes soon after. In our short time together, I have learned to read her body's signals, and I know that she is made nervous by my touch, but also excited by it. There is no way for a mouth to kiss the way hers kisses me if there isn't some kind of mutual desire.
In many ways, no one can make love the way the two of us did if there isn't as much desire existing in tandem.
"Tell me what it is that burdens you so much," I ask, my voice little more than a whisper in her ear.
The skin on her neck bristles at my warm breath, making it terribly tempting for me to kiss her there.
"It's just this whole charade. Isn't it all going too far?" she asks, evidently fretting.
"Maybe it is," I reply without letting go, the fragrance of her perfume drifting into my nose pleasantly. With each new breath she takes, Penny becomes more and more irresistible to me. "But try to think of this less as a farce, and more as a potential reality."
"How do you expect me to do that?"
"Imagine a world in which you find yourself terribly in love with me," I say.
"I'd be quite the masochist," she retorts, but there is a slight hesitation in her voice.
I smile. "Well then, you are a masochist, the worst of them all, and you find yourself terribly in love with me. All this is the free trial for what it would be like if you loved me, and this was your dream. We’re on the path to getting married and starting a family."
Sighing, Penny slips out of my arms. "You think that's going to get me to hurry up and buy a ring for our fake engagement?"
Shrugging, I pull her back to me. "Maybe. You can look at it as a game, and let yourself pretend. That would make things a lot easier."
"Is that what you do?" she asks me with one perfect eyebrow raised. "Pretend this is a game so you can enjoy the idea of our fake engagement?"
Her words catch me off guard. I haven't thought of how my words sound until she repeated them back to me.
"I'm not pretending," I say, knowing full well that I’m not faking how comfortable I feel with her.
But it is clear that Penny doesn't believe me. She shakes her head and turns away as she looks at other rings.
In a way, the fact that she doesn't believe me is a bitter feeling, but then again, I don't blame her.
Is it true that I’m attracted to Penny Gould in a way that goes beyond the physical?
I’m certainly at ease in her presence, and I enjoy her company, even the sense of peace that this lie offers me. It is so refreshing to remove myself from the image of a womanizing playboy, which had made me so tired over the years.
But I can't confess what I’m feeling to Penny, especially since I’m too confused by it to give it a name. I don't know if I’m merely acting on a whim, or if I really am starting to have feelings for the youngest of the Gould clan.
"I like this one," Penny says, catching my eye as she gestures for me to look at the counter.
She points to a simple, understated ring with a slightly antique style. It is white gold with a sapphire as the main gem, instead of a diamond.
The salesgirl pulls it out of the display case so Penny can look at it more closely. It looks as if the woman is silently judging Penny's decision, as that particular ring is not the largest or the most expensive in the entire store, but it is certainly a flattering and extremely beautiful piece.
"Allow me," I say to Penny as I take the ring and gently place it on her finger. The white gold and sapphire piece slides easily over her skin as I whisper, "I do," in a teasing tone that makes Penny blush.
She eyes the ring closely, but to me, it is all said and done. It fits her perfectly and matches her eyes as well as her personality and style.
"It's beautiful," she says at last, and for a moment it is almost easy for me to believe that this doesn’t have to be a lie, that she and I can be engaged now that we have chosen the ring.
"We'll take it," I say to the jeweler as Penny hands the ring back to her.
