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My hands grip his torso. I kiss him passionately as I try to give myself over to the moment, thinking over and over how addictive his muscular arms are. I marvel at the insatiable, perfect sensation his body causes when it is connected to mine.
The sex is explosive, passionate, and romantic. We move in perfect harmony, our bodies intertwined as one. What I feel for Parker is undeniable, and there is nothing I can do about it.
At the end of it, after his body and mine find orgasm in near-perfect synchrony, we lay on the bed, with Parker asleep as I watch over him. I feel a mixture of happiness and fear inside me. I know I have to tell him about the baby, but I don't know how. I don't know if he is ready for this kind of commitment, and I don't know if he will want to be a father.
I wonder in my heart what I should do. Should I tell him about the baby and risk losing him? Or should I keep it a secret and raise it on my own, which would mean I lose him anyway? I know I have to make a decision, but whatever I do, it will change my life forever.
Chapter twenty-six
Penny
Thatnight,thelightsshine like stars, and the atmosphere is filled with the clamor of laughter, loud comments, and murmured expectations from all those present, who are anxiously awaiting the fashion shows that kick off New York Fashion Week.
While staring at all the many celebrities and artists I admire in the crowd, I forget for just a moment the terrible situation in which I find myself, without knowing or even trying. But there is no turning back, and I know it. I’m pregnant with Parker because of my own carelessness. The fantasy story starts with paparazzi cameras flashing in my face, almost as if they are predictions of the anxiety that fills me at a moment I have waited years for. I wonder about what I should do, and whether or not I should tell Parker about the child we are expecting.
Right now, I don't have time to think about it.
I’m so busy at the show, being pulled between helping the models look their best on the runway and finishing the last details before my designs hit the stage. My heart is pounding out of my chest with excitement! I can’t believe how far I have come, and for that reason, I keep telling myself that for tonight, and throughout the week, I will dedicate myself with passion to this thing I love. I will think later about how to confess the truth to Parker.
When my turn has come, I feel like I might die. I can’t take my eyes off the models, who seem to be dancing down the runway in their beautiful outfits. The audience reacts just as I want them to as soon as the models appear on the runway and show off the beauty and originality of my collection. Applause burst out in the crowded hall.
"I have to say, you looked great!" Parker says, coming to me backstage and silently embracing me around the waist.
His touch leaves me unexpectedly stunned, causing me to look up at him as I try to remain calm.
But he doesn't seem to notice my nerves or, if anything, seems to think they are because of the event, which would be normal.
"Do you think so?" I ask him, trying to keep my voice confident and neutral.
Parker nods, his chin resting on my shoulder.
"You're amazing, Penny. You've got everyone enraptured with your designs. You'll be reining in more offers tonight than you can handle," he says.
Smiling like I’m a little girl, I watch the rest of the show, wishing with all my heart that my designs can reach more people and that my clothing line will have all the impact I hoped it would.
"You really stole the show, didn't you?" Brittany's obnoxious voice comes from behind us, breaking the magic of the moment.
Parker looks at her, suddenly transforming into someone else. His face is tense and his shoulders are squared, as if he plans to charge her at the slightest offense.
I’m not going to let her ruin what is one of the best moments of my career so far, so I give her a sweet smile. "Well, that was kind of my intention, don’t you agree?"
Brittany, who is looking at me like she wants to wring my neck, responds in a voice full of resentment. "Don't pat yourself on the back so much. If you've succeeded, it's only because Parker has made sure to put in a good word for you in front of everyone. I'm sure as soon as he forgets the ridiculous idea of being with you and comes to his senses, your fame will plummet."
"That won't happen," he says, stepping forward and causing Brittany to take another step back. "I love Penny, and that's something that doesn't seem to have been made clear to you. I love her, and we're going to have a child together, and the best thing you can do is get used to the idea."
Brittany looks at him with flushed cheeks for a moment, before she storms off, full of fury. Meanwhile, Parker turns to me and smiles, trying to remain calm.
"You'd better get ready. This is your time," he says.
His lips brush my hand as he gently nudges me forward, encouraging my feet to move as I strut down the runway with my models to the sound of a standing ovation from the entire audience, who are delighted with my collection.
Smiling and holding back tears, I thank the spectators and my models as I give a bow. But, my thoughts are only partially on that moment on the stage, because the other part of me can’t stop thinking about Parker and his words. In particular, the word ‘love’ keeps going round and round in my head.
I’m sure, utterly convinced, in fact, that he didn’t mean it, that it is all part of the charade, and while it is true that we are maintaining something very much like a relationship, the truth is that Parker can walk out of my life at any moment, with no promise of commitment tying him to me.
Well, except for the little baby detail.
Slowly and amidst applause, my footsteps lead me backstage as the show prepares for the next collection. I hold my breath as I accept the flowers and accolades from my entire team, as well as from my friends and others in attendance, who continue to give me applause for my first fashion week appearance.
