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Is it possible that he is in love with her, that perhaps, even after being with me in such a passionate way, he found himself thinking about her?
And suddenly, Parker leaves the room with hardly any explanation, with the model's name on his lips. His expression, full of urgency, shows me that once again, Brittany has stolen my moment with him.
I watch him leave, feeling my thoughts get muddier. For a moment, I’m completely lost.
What had happened here?
The loving Parker, who surprised me with jewelry, kisses, and caresses, had potentially transformed back into the Casanova I remember. The one who left me as my heart longed for his love to fill my empty dreams.
Feeling my heart break in two, I sit on the sofa, holding back tears and thinking about everything that happened between us. I’m expecting a child from him, but he still doesn't know, and perhaps, he will never know.
What good would it do?
It is clear that Parker is not ready to have a child. That he isn't ready to be a family with me the way I dream we can be.
Remembering the conversation I had with Grayson, I begin to doubt whether Parker is really right for me. Maybe it would be best to end this painful love story and move on with my life. He never wanted any of this.
What am I going to do now?I think, filled with despair.
But, despite it all, I can’t help but feel crushed at the thought of not having Parker by my side. I love him deeply, and the thought is tearing me up inside.
Feeling like I need to talk to someone, I start dialing the number of the only person who will understand me in this situation: Whitney, my best friend since college and former roommate. She is the only person I can tell all this to. She is the only person who won't judge me, and who will understand why I had acted the way I did.
She answers on the third ring.
"Penny, how are you, how was fashion week?" Whitney asks excitedly.
I had spoken to her a few times over the past few weeks. Just like Grayson and my mother, she had called me immediately upon learning of the alleged relationship that the media claimed existed between Parker and me. But, just like everyone else, I had been forced to lie to her.
"It went well," I begin to tell her, trying to remain calm.
"Penny, don't lie to me. You know we can talk about anything. What's wrong?" she asks me in a nurturing voice.
I sigh, letting the tears run down my cheeks.
"I'm not well, Whit," I admit, feeling the lump in my throat grow until it chokes me. But, I have to talk to her. I have to talk to someone or I will burst from the pain. "I think— I think Parker just left me to go back to Brittany."
Contrary to insulting him, as anyone else would do, Whitney keeps her criticisms to herself, aware in that instant that I don't need a fit of anger, but the loving support of my best friend.
"Are you sure he did that? Wow. I wouldn't have expected that after how well you told me things were going between you two," she says with obvious hurt and sympathy in her voice.
"The truth, Whit," I say, sniffling and forcing a bitter laugh to escape my lips. "It’s all been a lie."
"What do you mean it's all been a lie?" she asks me.
My heart is racing as I take a deep breath "Parker, me, everything. Nothing that happened before fashion week was real. Or it wasn't, at least, until now."
"I'm confused," Whitney says and sighs. "Why don't you tell me everything from the beginning, honey? You'll feel better about being able to tell someone the truth."
And that's exactly what I do. Deciding it is time to come clean, I take a slow, deep breath and make up my mind to tell Whitney the whole truth.
I tell her the whole story, from our first kiss and what was supposed to be a one-night stand, up to an hour or so ago. I tell her I think Parker decided to go after his ex, leaving me and the baby I’m carrying in my belly. Granted, it is a baby that he doesn't know existed. Maybe he'll never know it existed.
Whitney listens intently, never interrupting me, until I have completely unburdened myself.
"Penny, you need to leave that toxic relationship in the past," she states, in what is a shock like cold water to me. I expected that statement. I thought it myself. But it hurts too much to admit it.
"Parker doesn't deserve another minute of your time. He doesn't deserve to be with you, because if he has doubts now about whether he wants to be with you, or Brittany, he'll have them forever. Who loves you, Penny, doesn't hesitate to love you. He doesn't compare you in his heart to anyone else."
