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But he’d been too much of a coward to open himself up like that. To show them that part of himself.
Breathing in deep, he moved to the area where he knew the books were. Crouching, he stared at the spines of the ten books he’d written for her.
He pulled out the very last one he wrote, reading it. The words started blurring, and he had to take a moment to pull himself together. He’d forgotten how much of himself he’d put into these. He reached the last page.
Little Anna took her Daddy’s hand and led him to the swing. She’d been scared to go on the swing, but now she knew that all she had to do was trust in her Daddy, and she would always be safe.
She was the bravest Little he’d ever met.
And she would always fly high.
With a shudder, he closed the book. He’d started writing it soon after her diagnosis. He hadn’t wanted to finish it, but Anna had urged him to.
Don’t be sad, Daddy. I lived an amazing life. Every moment was special because of you. Make sure you smile again. For me.
The memory of her telling him that as she’d lain in bed, weak, her body ravaged by cancer, hit him hard.
How had she been so brave?
She put him to shame.
“I made a mistake, my gorgeous girl.”
Then fix it, you big idiot.
He snorted. He could almost hear her saying that.
Yeah. He’d have to fix this.
No matter what it took.
Chapter 25
Isla walked into Marcus’ office without knocking.
He wouldn’t have answered, anyway. He was too wrapped up in his work. He often got like this… but it was worse this time.
He seemed almost manic. He was barely sleeping. And when he did sleep, it was on the sofa in his office. He’d hardly eaten.
She knew it was his way of trying to cope. He’d fallen in love with Eliot.
Like you did.
And then you went and messed it up.
You fuck everything up, Isla. The day you were born was the worst day of our lives.
Stop it.
Get out of my head.
Taking a deep breath, she walked into his office carrying a tray of food. Creamy chicken soup and grilled cheese.
Comfort food.
The freezer was packed full of comfort food. Mac and cheese, chicken and dumplings, not to mention all the baking. That was her way of coping.
Both Cullen and Ivy had tried talking to her and Marcus.
But they didn’t know what they were going through.
“Marcus.”
He was at his whiteboard. He must have been running his fingers through his hair as it was standing on end. He’d been wearing the same clothes for days. Sadness filled her at the sight of him.
He was always there for her. He always tried to give her what she needed.
It was time for her to be there for him.
“Marcus.”
Still nothing.
Hoping that she wasn’t interrupting him when he was about to have a breakthrough, she set the tray on his desk, and stepped between him and the whiteboard.
He didn’t even see her.
Was she going to lose him, too?
Suddenly, it was just too much. She couldn’t deal anymore. She needed him. Leaning against him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and started sobbing.
“What?” He jolted. “Isla?” His voice was croaky, as though he hadn’t used it for a while. “What are you doing?”
“I need you, Marcus. Please don’t leave me t-too. I’ll do anything. But please… please stay with me.”
“Hey. Hey, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” He wrapped his arms around her. “What’s the matter? What’s going on?”
Did he really not know?
She cupped his face between her hands. “Marcus, do you know how long you’ve been in this room working?”
He frowned. “What day is it?”
“Sunday.”
“Sunday? But didn’t we leave Rawhide on Tuesday?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve been in here—”
“Five days. I’ve been dropping off food, trying to get you to eat and rest, but you’ve been so lost in your work.”
“I do that sometimes.”
“I know. I know you do. I just… I’m worried about you. And I-I’m being selfish.” She dropped her gaze, staring at the floor.
“You could never be selfish. What’s going on, sweetie? Tell me.”
She stared up at him, her eyes filling with tears. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
His head reared back. “Leave you? Never. I would never leave you. What the hell are you talking about?”
“I just… it’s my fault. I got sick and scared him. And then I called him Daddy. I pushed him away. And that hurt you. Because you loved him. I’ve ruined it all.”
“Stop that right now, Isla Rose!” he barked.
Her eyes widened. More at his tone than the words. That was pure dominance coming from his voice. Which was really weird.
“Marcus?”
“Whoa.” He wiped his hand over his forehead. “That was strange. I didn’t think I had that in me. I think I might be coming down with something.”
