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“Are you going to be okay?” Nash asks, his voice low and concerned.
I clench my jaw, knowing that more of my weakness is showing. I don’t answer him as the key finds purchase, and the lock gives way. I step inside, unconcerned about the mildewy smell that greets me. Without a response, I close the door, flipping the lock once I’m able.
I swallow against the threat of vomit, at the way the fabric of the armchair on the other side of the room is somehow both damp to the touch but also dried out and crunchy. I drag the piece of furniture to the door, pressing it under the door handle as if the giant window to the left of the door isn’t there. I know it’s a false sense of security. I know that if there were anyone that wanted to get into this room, they could do so easily without breaking a sweat.
The growl of male voices doesn’t help calm me any as I press my ear to the door.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Did you see the way her fucking hands were trembling?” Nash asks. “She could barely unlock the fucking door.”
“So you’re just going to fucking sit out here all night?”
There’s no answer, and I don’t have the ability to see what’s going on without moving the curtain, something I know won’t go unnoticed by the two men outside. The lack of a peephole makes being in here that much more dangerous.
I jerk back at the vibration of a thumb against the door. My hands trembling more than they did when I tried to gain access to the room.
“Fucking ridiculous,” Angel growls. “Might as well knock on the fucking door and see if she’ll let you sleep in the extra bed.”
I’m stone, frozen in place with the man’s suggestion.
“Why don’t you just go to the room and fuck off?” Nash snaps.
“I don’t know which fucking Nash is worse, the one that smiled and thought life was a fucking joke or this asshole.”
“Get used to this one,” Nash grunts. “The other guy died in Monterrey.”
I feel his words deep in my own soul, knowing full well there’s no way to recover a hundred percent from what we’ve both been through. It’s not only the physical scars left behind but the mental shit that will haunt us forever.
I’ll never get into a car at night without my heart racing, warning me that I’m in danger. I’ll never go another day without looking over my shoulder. I’ll never be capable of being intimate with a man without thinking of all the horrible things I’ve done.
I may be out from under Cortez’s control, but I’ll never be free of him. I know even if I were able to stand over his body and watch the life drain from his eyes, that I’ll never feel safe, not the way I thought I was before I was taken.
Chapter 24
Nash
I wince as I jerk awake. The burn in my side makes me realize that me sleeping out here is simply a false show of protection. If someone really wanted to test my limits, they’d know very quickly that I’m not capable of much right now.
I roll my head on the closed door of room 205 to find Angel coming out of his room, the strap of his overnight bag hanging from his shoulder.
I reach for the ache in my neck which only serves to pull at the injuries in my side. I’m a fucking mess right now.
Angel turns in my direction. The unimpressed look in his eyes makes me wonder if the man is going to turn against me. He’s set up jobs for me in the past, but we’re not friends. I learned long ago to never trust anyone. Despite our frequent interactions, trusting him fully is not something I’ve ever considered, despite the man risking his own life to pull me out of Cortez’s compound.
“What the fuck?” I snap when he pulls his hotel room door closed all the way.
“I have to get back to Lauren and the baby,” he says as he steps closer.
“Let me wake Ayla up.”
“No,” he snaps, making my eyes jerk up to him before I can even get my feet under myself. “Three people crossing at the same time would draw too much attention.”
“You got another plan?”
“I told you that I could get you close, but I couldn’t guarantee that I could get you across. This is what that looks like.”
“It looks like you sneaking out in the middle of the night?”
He tilts his head as if he doesn’t understand why I’d be upset, and I have to clench my fucking jaw to keep from saying more.
This man owes me exactly nothing. If anyone owes the other, it’s me owing him for the rescue.
“I know you’re capable of getting across undetected, but I also know it would be impossible for her to do it.”
