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I try not to make eye contact with any of them. The men may see it as a way to communicate with them, to assure them they’ll be okay. I don’t look at them because I know how it will be. I’d never offer hope when there was none to be found.
The best I can do is show these women that being calm allows me to stand here unharmed. They have no way of knowing just how bruised my back is. They can’t see the damage one of the customers caused days ago with a whip. They’ll learn soon enough that there’s no lack of depravity in a place like this, but complying also comes with certain privileges. Complying has earned me my own room, despite the fact that it doesn’t have a door. It means I’m no longer forced to my knees in a filthy cage in the basement. Doing the things asked of me keeps my sister safe, despite knowing she’s growing increasingly annoyed with my absence.
One of the guys grabs the breast of the only woman not sobbing and begging to be released. She glares at him, as if she’d claw his skin from his bones if her hands weren’t tied behind her back. When she tries to jerk away, he only grips her tighter. She’s a fast learner, gritting her teeth and standing still until the man releases her. I’m not foolish enough to think she’s broken. If anything, she’ll wait until she thinks she can win before fighting back with everything she has. That will be the day she dies. It may be out of anger, one of the men going too far because his pride won’t let him stop until she’s dead. It may be at the hands of one of the customers who has always dreamed of raping and then killing someone. But the end for her will be the same, unless they find something to blackmail her with, and even then, the stronger women refuse to comply.
I drop my eyes, knowing it isn’t fair to think that way. Every one of these women has their own stories, their own reasons for reacting the way they do. Some of them will fight until the death because they can’t help themselves. It’s no more my place to judge them for how they handle this unimaginable situation, any more than it is for them to judge me.
Sobs aren’t uncommon around here. Sometimes we cry because we can’t help it. Sometimes we cry because it’s asked of us. Sometimes we cry because we’d rather be anywhere but here, including one of the shallow graves out back.
Two men hold one of the women as Pirro approaches her, and my hands sweat in my robe pockets. My first instinct is to jump on his back and claw at him until he’s a bloody mess. I swallow down a scream when he punches her in the gut after she spits in his face. Guilt swims inside of me when he touches her and I stand there and do nothing.
We don’t talk to each other. There’s not much I know about the women standing on either side of me, but we all have our reasons for not helping the woman Pirro is hurting.
It isn’t about bravery. I know it’s Alani keeping me from helping this woman. Maybe I should feel ashamed that I’m putting my sister before any other person here. The threat on her means they could pull a knife and give me an ultimatum, watch this one die or protect my sister, and I’d choose Alani every single time. I’m the only person she has left, and I’d let the world burn down around me before I’d pick differently.
“Please stop,” one of the new women begs as Pirro pulls his fist back once again, his intention to hit her in the face this time evident.
The man may seem like he acts without reason, but his eyes dart in her direction. It will probably be the last time the woman tries to stand up for someone else. They’ll get compliance any way they can, and she’ll be no different. By the time I see her again, she’ll be standing there just as silently as we are on this side of the room.
Pirro leans in close to her, forcing her to take a step back until she’s pressed against the wall. I can’t hear what he says as he lowers his mouth to her ear, but it’s enough to make any courage she’s been capable of mustering seep from her. Her face turns ashen, her bottom lip trembling with fear. He has no shortage of threats, and the scary thing about Pirro when his boss isn’t around is that he’s more than capable and incredibly willing to follow through with each and every one of them.
