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“Maks!” I push at his chest. “Ignore him. Anton was an asshole, but it’s not worth it. Besides, I don’t care whether you’re gay or straight or an alien. You’ll always be my friend.”
He breathes deeply and stops pushing me, a bitter smile appearing on his lips. “Thanks for the thousandth kick into the friendzone.”
“I’m a woman, so anything between us would be virtually impossible.”
“You say that as if it would be possible if you were a man.”
“I mean, you never know.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Sasha. You looked at Boss like he was your god.”
“That’s not…true.”
“Yes, it is.” He sighs. “I guess I wanted someone to look at me that way, too.”
I pat his arm. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“At least you didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“Anton is…” I pause, searching for the right word. “Not that bad. He’s just too inflexible.”
“If you continue to keep me locked up here, one of us will end up killing the other. You know it, he knows it, and I know it. Do the right thing, Sasha.”
“I…will think about it.”
“Think fast.” He pauses. “Also, I don’t believe Boss would ever orchestrate the death of children. He’s not that type of monster.”
“Save it, Maks.”
“I mean it. He dedicated his whole youth to protecting his siblings, including making them believe he didn’t give a fuck about them. A man like him wouldn’t murder children.”
A foolish part of me wants to believe his words, but Kirill killed that part in that cottage where I waited for him, not knowing what he had in store for me.
Maksim and I play a round of cards. But then Anton sends me an emergency text, and I have to leave a grumbling Maksim after giving him a hug.
I find Anton waiting by the snowmobile outside and hop on behind him. “Just so you know, that was an asshole move. You don’t just expose someone’s sexuality when he didn’t come out himself.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“You’re really a bastard sometimes.” I shake my head. “What’s the emergency?”
“We might have to move up the attack date.”
My heart jolts. “We have a lead?”
“Yeah. Uncle is working out the details.” He pauses. “Babushka wants us to kill Kirill’s family before his eyes.”
I hop off the snowmobile and stare at him. “What are you talking about? We agreed we’d only kill Kirill.”
“Babushka doesn’t think the same.”
“Babushka is an old woman who doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about most of the time.”
“Watch it, Sasha. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Well, isn’t it the truth? She’s been in hiding all this time, and that’s skewed her mind. You and I went to hell and back and agreed that only Kirill would pay. Karina and Konstantin have nothing to do with this. And, actually, neither does Yulia.”
“We had nothing to do with the decision Papa and our uncles made, either, but we lost our whole family because of it.”
“You…agree with this?”
“It wouldn’t be poetic justice if he’s the only one who dies.”
“No, Anton! We’re not going to kill them. Karina is my friend, and so is Konstantin, for that matter.”
He narrows his eyes. “You left New York, but apparently, your heart is still there.”
“We’re not killing them, and that’s final.”
If I’m outvoted on this by both Babushka and Uncle, I’ll take things into my own hands.
8
KIRILL
My killing spree never stopped.
However, I’ve started to put on the brakes enough to protect my position as the Pakhan. It’s not an easy or a fun place to be when everything else is…empty.
However, this is the throne I’ve worked hard to sit on. I might have lost Sasha, but she was by my side for years to help me get here.
More accurately, all she wanted was to help me. She didn’t care whether I got here or anywhere else as long as she protected and supported me.
I’m the one who vied for this position and hurt her for it with that engagement. I didn’t get the chance to celebrate our marriage properly before she was snatched away.
She’s been gone from my life for fifty-three days, and I still can’t go into my old room.
Avoiding my old room is pointless since I see her in every corner of my house, the garden, and even out in the streets.
She’s fucking everywhere.
It’s impossible to purge her out of my system or find closure.
In fact, I refuse to.
“What do you think, Pakhan?” Vladimir asks from my right, bringing my attention back to the meeting.
It’s one of those weekly ones where everyone in the organization bores me with their nonsense before we vote, and then they go on their way.
After I lost my shit and offended the leader of the Russian mafia in Boston by stepping on his toes with the Albanian issue, things were unsettled here.
Igor was highly displeased with my misconduct, but because his daughter is in my family, he reined it in. Rai asked for a re-election of the Pakhan and was a fucking bitch about it. In fact, she’s been an absolute eyesore ever since she learned about Sasha’s death.
