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“You drinking instant coffee?”
“Yulia being in a coma because of me.”
Konstantin exhales deeply, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I won’t apologize for putting her right where she belongs, but I know your feelings toward her are different from mine.”
His brother pauses, and I hold my breath until he releases a sigh.
“You know, I’ve thought long and hard about this, but I always come to the same conclusion. If you didn’t shoot her, she would’ve shot you.” He stares at Kirill. “I prefer this outcome much more than the alternative. I’m glad you’re the one sitting beside me right now.”
Konstantin probably didn’t notice it, but Kirill’s chest expanded with relief just now. Even if his face still looks like the same unperturbed cold entity.
In a fraction of a second, that emotionless gaze zeroes in on me. Although I’m half hiding behind the wall, he sees me immediately.
I don’t know why I feel the need to run.
My legs, however, don’t move.
Kirill stands and squeezes Konstantin’s shoulder. “I’ll be back.”
He abandons the cup of coffee in the nearest trash can and strides toward me.
Once he stops in front of me, it’s like he’s gained a few inches of height. The dark tattoos peeking out from the collar of his shirt appear monstrous when coupled with his closed-off expression.
“What are you doing here?” His voice is harsh and authoritarian, like in our army days. “You should be resting.”
“I’m…fine. The doctor said I can move around.”
“The doctor also said not to put a strain on your health.”
I swallow. “Is this because I’m pregnant? Are you concerned about your son’s life?”
“I’m concerned about your life, damn it.” His eyes blaze with flames. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? Why did you choose to act suspicious and pull away from me instead?”
Emotions clog my throat, and I hate the feeling of being so vulnerable. So…damn inferior.
“I…didn’t want you to force me to stay because of the baby. I wanted to come to terms with us first.”
“There’s no us anymore since we’re divorcing in a few weeks.”
I jerk as if someone punched me in the gut. My body trembles, and my eyes sting. “You…will divorce me?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted when you came back? You clearly demanded a divorce after three months.”
But that was before I knew everything. Divorce is the last thing I want right now.
Also, I genuinely thought he’d never grant me that, considering how often he reminded me that he wouldn’t let me leave him.
“I…” I trail off, not knowing what to say. “We can…extend that until after I give birth. You know, so he’s not illegitimate.”
“No.”
I reel again. What the hell is with him punching metaphorically today?
“I also don’t want you to stay with me just because of the baby,” he says.
Oh.
“But…you want me to stay?”
“Only if you love me.” He takes my hands in his. “If you don’t, I will pursue you again and for as long as it takes until you fall head over heels for me.”
“Then, the divorce…”
“I was testing you. The word divorce doesn’t exist in my dictionary with you. The day I married you, I promised to be your husband till death do us part, and I intend to keep that promise. I already lost you once, I’ll be damned if I lose you again.”
My throat closes. “Does that mean you love me?”
He caresses my hair in gentle strokes. “I don’t only love you. I’m nothing without you. I don’t know when it started or when it grew into this fiery explosion, but I know for a fact that you’ve become an undivided part of me. You’re the solace I need every night and the light I look forward to every morning. I might have strived for power and prestige, but it took losing you to realize that my universe revolves around you.”
A whole-body shudder grips hold of me, and I’m barely preventing myself from bawling my eyes out.
I’ve always wanted Kirill to tell me I’m special to him. He’s shown it in action plenty of times, and I thought I was okay with that, but deep inside me, I wanted to hear it, too.
The words he just said are more than I ever imagined.
More than I ever wished for.
I place an unsteady palm on his chest. “Does that mean if I ask you to stop being Pakhan, you’ll give up the position for me?”
He catches hold of my hand and kisses my palm. “Today if you want.”
“Really?”
“Whatever my beautiful wife wants.”
“But you worked so hard for it.”
“That position means nothing without you.”
“Oh, Kirill.” I throw myself in his arms. “Of course I won’t ask you to give up your hard-earned power. I’ll stand by your side every step of the way.”
“Does that mean you still love me?”
I pull back and stroke his cheek. “I never stopped, idiot. It’s hard to live without you and impossible to forget you, but I had no choice in loving you.”
