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“Are you for real?” We haven’t moved, and Cass is still studying me from right in front of me, her hands at my waist.
Terror prickles the back of my neck. I’m not afraid of much. Never have been and probably never will be, compliments of my upbringing, or should I say survival methods. But this? What I just said? I said it all without even thinking. I got so lost in the story that I fucked up. I told Cass about Granny without even realizing it, and that shit can get her in real shit. Really dangerous shit. I don’t want anything to happen to Cass. I want to protect her. Even if the things I do now are good things, they’re still dangerous.
“I…uh…I’m kidding,” I say, then laugh, but it sounds false to me, and I know Cass isn’t buying it, though she doesn’t let on. She’s got a good poker face. She does hold my gaze, though, and now I feel like I can’t look away, or she’s going to know I’m lying. “I didn’t make it out of her garage when I tried to steal the car. She came out holding a shotgun, and she told me I had two choices. Deal with the cops or deal with her. I told her I was a good kid from the right side of the tracks who got off on doing bad things. I gave her a fake address and fake parents’ names. We had some planned out, just in case. People who would vouch for us if we needed it. They were all basically drug dealers too. So, she called, and then she showed up at their house. Just about gave them a heart attack. She offered to send me to private school, pay for it all, and give me a full ride to college after that. She said the talent I had could be honed for so much more, and well, I made my choice. I think she knew I didn’t have any parents. And when she said private school, she meant…uh, private school.”
In attempting to try and cover my tracks, I just about slipped up again. Oh, I went to a private school, alright. The kind of school that had my brothers and me learning not only the shit we needed to get our GEDs but the kind of skills no one teaches. Both stories are kind of true. Granny did show up, and I was left in the house alone. She asked about my parents, so I took her to another trashy, run-down house. Those people, people I was working for, were only too happy to accept a few grand of cash to forget I existed. We tell people the whole parents and private school thing more as a cover story to protect not just all of us but to protect me. Only my brothers know the truth. I have to admit that we even watered down my story for my brother’s girl, Azalea, and Ransom no doubt only told Ayana the bare minimum.
“Oh, I see.”
“Granny was…she was amazing. After she adopted me, I had a lot of firsts. I had real brothers, a family who actually cared, and this amazing older person who didn’t want to use me for drugs or cash or stealing or anything. She truly cared about the big shit, the small shit. All my shit. And believe me, my shit stank as bad as my attitude. Or maybe that’s supposed to be a metaphor, and I just botched it. Before Granny, I’d never even tasted cake before.”
“Cake?”
“Yeah. Never had good food and was hungry more often than not. I trained myself out of caring whether my stomach was growling or not. I’d do something else so that I didn’t have to think about it. Anyway, I’m going to stop now. I’ve already painted a pretty grim picture, and it’s going to ruin your day. You clearly had a good morning. Didn’t mean to poop all over that like a poo raincloud raining poo rain.”
I’m glad I’m shutting up now. I definitely need to do that. I’ve messed up more than a few times in the delivery of that story, peppering in way too much truth, which I don’t do. I don’t tell the truth about myself or mess up. No, I’m normally flawless in my execution, so what is it about Cass that makes me stumble?
Oh, you know what it is.
Shut up before I dick-punch you.
That would be bagging yourself, FYI.
I’m not afraid to do it.
You should be. You need us. Nuts, balls, Lennox. We’re a team. We’ve always been a team. Don’t go senile on us now.
Senile? Hardly.
Penile?
I’m cutting this off now.
“I…I’m still processing everything. That was like a ten-course meal. It was a lot to digest. I think it’s going to be a lot to digest for a good long while.”
