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And it will be better than prison.
Even though I told Phoenix I would go to jail for the Godwins, I don’t want that. True prison would be awful. There would be no chance to earn… comforts.
If I am a good girl.
Not a bad girl.
Maybe I can be the queen who is pampered by her king. Is that even a possibility? If I have his heir, will he feel he owes me respect and treat me better than he is now? Maybe I can work this toward my advantage. Maybe a baby is the key to my happiness. Because the truth of the matter is that anything is better than death, and I can see how maybe this entire nightmare in the manor can be better than prison.
If I can earn Phoenix’s forgiveness and make him forget about my lies and secrets, there is a chance for me to have a somewhat normal life.
But having a baby?
I have always wanted to have children someday. Losing my baby with Mark nearly destroyed me mentally. I had no idea if I’d truly recover from the darkness the tragedy sent me into. As my body healed, my mind seemed to be so much further away in doing the same. I had given up hope on ever having a child again.
Being forced to conceive with Phoenix is far from how I want to, of course, but I am not against having a baby. Yes, I want love, a husband, and the normal path of creating a family, but I also gave up normal a long time ago. Girls who grow up on the Eastside of Heathens Hollow don’t get to have normal.
When the door to my room opens, I’m surprised Phoenix has returned so quickly. I was hoping he would after I spoke about his mother to the camera. Asking questions about her, trying to appeal to his inner kindness, and trying to make him see what he is doing to me as wrong through her eyes would make him take pause. But I also risked angering him, pushing him too far by bringing up his past.
As I sit up to face the man in my doorway, my heart stops while I wait to see what’s next.
“Do not ever bring up my mother again!” he bellows, stomping straight toward me. “I don’t know how you know anything about her other than assuming it’s your betraying sister. But whatever your sister must have told you is not true—because nothing she says is. I don’t want my mother’s name to touch either of your lips again.”
“I didn’t mean to make you angry,” I stammer, feeling my gut clench as I scurry back toward the farthest corner of the room, terrified at the fury I see in Phoenix’s eyes. “I just know a mother wouldn’t want her son to act this way.”
He bolts in my direction and reaches out, grabbing a handful of my hair, pulling me mere inches from his face. “Do not talk about my mother. Severe consequences for that.”
“I’m sorry,” I offer weakly, but I now see his Achilles heel. The sting from my hair being yanked causes tears to well in my eyes. “I won’t bring her up again.”
He tugs my hair harder, forcing my head so far back I stare into his furious eyes. My body nude and awkwardly posed—so exposed. “And I understand. I don’t like to talk about my past either. Or parents.”
Regardless of me feeling like a trapped animal in a cage, I’ll do my best not to bring her up as a tool again. It was clearly enough to push Phoenix over the edge.
“And what do you feel should be the consequence for pissing me off like this?”
Clearly, sorry isn’t enough.
He tugs my hair a little harder, telling me he’s waiting for an answer. I have no idea what to say or how to answer correctly in his eyes.
“I don’t know.”
“I should spank that ass of yours.”
“A spanking?” The words shoot past my lips like a bullet before I have time to think them through. Before I have time to really consider what will come from that word. But I also desperately want to repent in Phoenix’s eyes. I don’t like seeing him this angry with me. I want it to go away. Oddly enough, I don’t want to disappoint him any longer.
Phoenix’s eyes darken, and his lips set in a thin, firm line. “At least you now understand,” he growls.
I want to apologize. I want to plead for compassion. I want to reach into the depths of his evil and pull out even an ounce of humanity. But I’m aware I have been poking the bear. And no, I have not expected to get away with it.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the key to the handcuffs. “Don’t make me use these again,” he says as he removes them.
