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“How long do you plan on staying?” Dio asks.
“A while. I don’t plan on traveling unless need be while Ani is pregnant,” Phoenix announces. “And then I don’t want to leave the baby right away either.”
My heart stops as I glance at his face to see if he truly means what he says.
Staying?
He’s staying?
For months. For almost a year maybe.
With me?
“We’ll talk more and go over everything after our walk,” Phoenix says, stepping closely beside me.
I am nestled next to his body as we begin to stroll a dirt path leading into a mass of trees. The sun feels good on my face, and though the boots I wear are a little big, it feels good to stretch my legs and feel normal in the fresh air. We walk in silence. Side by side.
Not as a captive and captor. Not as a beauty and her beast.
Phoenix is the first to break the silence as we are several yards from the house. “It’s nice to be in the country. The land is pretty spectacular.”
I haven’t said a word since we walked out the door. I have no idea what to say. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Phoenix seems… different.
“I have made a decision,” Phoenix says. “I would like to stay. With you, with the baby, and I want to…” Phoenix seems to be struggling to find the right words.
I simply walk on. I am scared that if I chime in at all, he will suddenly go back to his closed-off, no-emotion self. I am terrified that what I heard him say to Dio is just a momentary lapse of judgment, and he will suddenly change his mind and hop back on the first flight to Seattle and then to Heathens Hollow.
“I shouldn’t have left you,” Phoenix says. “I know that now. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things.” He sounds remorseful, which is odd. He always is so focused on his decisions and his actions.
“When you confessed your feelings to me.” Phoenix reaches for my hand and takes it in his. “You weren’t wrong. There was a bond between us. There was something so strong that it scared the holy hell out of me. After the lie, my plan was to never love you. To never care. But I do. I care, and I love you. As hard as it is to say those words, and to admit the feelings, I do.”
Holding his hand, walking beside him, strolling the countryside in Spain… we are talking about an epic love story right out of a romance novel. But this is too good to be true. This is so polar opposite of what I had before. This is not the future I accepted as mine. It just can’t be.
When did my beast turn into prince?
I pull away from him and freeze.
He walks in front of me so he can stare directly at me.
“I don’t deserve you,” Phoenix says, “and I don’t have the best of situations to offer. In fact, a life with me won’t be easy. Being a Godwin is fucking messy. I hide in the attic to avoid what being a Godwin truly means. I never want to face my reality. I prefer the safety of four walls, a self-imposed prison, over staring down the Godwin curse. I lost my mother because of that family, and I don’t want the same for you.”
“I told you I understood the Godwins,” I say. “I understand your mother.”
“Just because you read some journals, doesn’t mean you will truly understand. My father is… well, there are no words in the dictionary that can describe that man. My sister—as much as I love her—is a fucking sociopath, and my brother is just as bad.”
“But it’s your family. Yours. And”—I place my hand on my belly—“this baby’s.”
“I’m going to continue to battle this agoraphobic bullshit day in and day out for you, but I can’t promise it won’t win. I can’t tell you that I won’t expect us to be locked inside all the time. And if you say no, truly say no and not want me in your day-to-day life anymore, I will accept that answer. Choosing me is not part of your punishment for the lie. I’m done dictating; I’m done demanding. I’m done truly punishing,” Phoenix says with his eyes locked with mine. “Well…” Phoenix smirks. “I’m done punishing for the lie. I still have my… needs.”
I chuckle.
“I’m not a changed man. In fact, the reality is, I am who I am. Still a fucking monster in the attic.”
“I told you from the beginning that I knew who you were. And I had accepted that,” I say. “But you shattered my heart. You rejected me and made me feel as if I was the only one who felt there was more between us.”
