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“Girl, Karma has finally come to town.”
“What? Why? Who?”
“Your ex’s businesses got audited. I don’t know who the hell or what the hell, but both dealerships have been closed down in less than twenty-four hours. Can you believe it? Word is that he and his mother are losing their shit. Girl, did you know that they were in debt up to their eyeballs?”
She kept going while I sat there, feeling numb with excitement and fear. It couldn’t have happened to a better pair, but what hell am I going to reap behind this? So that’s why Mace had sent those two downstairs to keep an eye on me. As if my thoughts had conjured him, he walked through the door to my office just then. “Nat, let me call you back.”
I hung up before she could answer and just stared at him. “So, you’ve heard, uh-uh-uh. Before you open your mouth, understand that this is not up for debate. From here on out, I’ll be dealing with your ex and his incubator. You stay out of it.”
“But how can I?”
“Listen, I know you’re accustomed to dealing with that pansy ass mama’s boy, but that’s not me. I’m a real one, and real ones take care of their own. Now let’s get out of here; it’s time for lunch.”
I think I just fell in love. Like the real deal. With my whole heart and soul and not just with his dick.
STEPH
I kept watching him out the side of my eye as we sat in the restaurant he’d chosen for lunch; I couldn’t help it. This relationship keeps taking all these twists and turns that I’m not familiar with, and I’m finding it hard to find solid ground. Just when I think I have a handle on things, he springs something new on me, something not expected.
His words, the things he says, make me want to believe in fairytales, to believe in things I never expected to have for myself, things I could only dream of in the past. I want so badly to believe that he’s for real, that he’s not playing games, which he has proven time and again. But years of conditioning hold me back.
As much as I long to believe, and as often as I tell myself to let go, there’s still that little bit of fear inside that one day I’ll wake up, and it will be over. It’s like being offered everything you’ve ever wanted but never believed you deserved.
Mace is like everything I could ever want wrapped up in one package. And he’s so damn beautiful I could cry. So why would he want to be with me? And how long would it last before the pressure of being with someone my size gets to him? I know he’s not unaware of the looks and the whispers, and even though he sometimes fights back, how long before he grows tired of having to defend his choice?
I’d been feeling so good when we came here, and now, I was right back to square one. Right back to being the fat kid who no one wanted on their team, the ugly duckling who was only good for a few laughs or to fill in where no one else would.
I’ve been so used all my life that I’d grown accustomed to it. And no matter how much I told myself that I’d stop being that person, it never seemed to happen. But Mace seems genuinely involved, and for some reason, it’s scaring me just a little. I’m damn near terrified of the consequences of letting myself believe only to be disillusioned again.
I don’t want to be one of those women who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s staring her in the face, the sort to choose the wrong kind of man each time because she doesn’t know what’s good for her but how can I really trust that someone like him could genuinely want someone like me for something more than a fun time that wasn’t meant to last?
“What’s the matter, Steph? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“How’d you know I was looking at you? You’re not even looking in my direction.” In fact, he had his head down, looking at the menu.
“You’re my woman. I can feel you.” See what I mean? How can I believe that someone like him would ever say such words to someone like me?
He picked his head up and stared at me, right into my eyes, without speaking for what felt like forever. “You’re not thinking about the old lady.” He squinted as he studied my face, then sighed and shook his head before looking back at the menu.
“It’s me. Whatever is going on in your head, let’s talk about it later when we’re alone. Now, what are you having for lunch? You didn’t have much for breakfast, so make it good.”
