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“Is everything okay?” she asked.
And here I’d thought things had gone well. “Yes. I’m sorry. Was my presentation not good?” I shook my head. “I knew I should’ve included a better introduction and spoken about the norepinephrine research that recently concluded in Germany.”
Dr. Reston raised her hands. “Your presentation was more than sufficient. In fact, I wish every grantee put as much effort into their summaries as you do. Many researchers get the science, but PowerPoint is scarier to them than quantum physics.”
My shoulders relaxed a little. “Oh, okay.”
She tilted her head. “Perhaps I should’ve clarified that I wasn’t referring to your work. I was asking more on a personal level. You seem… I’m not sure what it is exactly, but you seem different than the last few times we’ve met. I thought maybe there was something going on, perhaps here at the facility or something personal bothering you? You’re a little less peppy than usual, and it looks like you might be getting less sleep. I’m not asking in an official capacity; I just wanted to check in woman to woman. We STEM ladies need to be there for each other as more than just coworkers, and I know you took some personal days a few weeks ago.”
“Oh.” I shook my head. “That’s very kind of you, Dr. Reston.”
“It’s Barbara, please.”
I nodded. “That’s very kind of you, Barbara. I didn’t realize I was so easy to read. But you’re right, I haven’t been sleeping that great. I took some time off because my mom had some health issues. She had a heart blockage and needed to have open-heart surgery, which was pretty scary. My mom and I are particularly close. We lost my only brother eight years ago, and we were each other’s support system.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that. I would imagine that left you two with a special bond. Does she live here in the City?”
“No, she’s back in Philly with my dad. That’s why I took some days off, to be at the hospital.”
Barbara nodded. “That’s hard. My parents lived on the west coast when my dad got sick. We lost him to cancer a few years back. It was difficult not to be there all the time while he was going through his treatments. But I hope I didn’t insult you by saying I could tell you weren’t sleeping. You look just as beautiful as ever; your eyes just don’t have the sparkle they normally do.”
She didn’t know the half of it, since I hadn’t mentioned to anyone here that I’d broken off my engagement and started sleeping with a guy I’d had a crush on for twenty years, who was probably all wrong for me. Not to mention, who could sleep when Holden left me hot and bothered every night because of his current no-sex policy.
“I really appreciate you taking the time to check on me,” I said. “But I promise, nothing that’s going on with me personally will distract me from getting my research done.”
Barbara smiled. “I really have no worries about that, Laney. But you have my number. Call me anytime if you need to talk, about work or personal stuff. We scientists look at things differently than a lot of people, so it’s nice to have a friend who doesn’t think you’ve lost it when you break out a Venn diagram to overanalyze every little thing.”
I laughed. “I appreciate that. It’s very kind of you.”
“You know, you could probably finish the remainder of your initial research back in Philadelphia. At least all of the data-gathering and analysis is able to be done offsite. Perhaps you could just come back for the next round of interviews and medical assessments with the participants. If you want, I’ll ask the grant committee to approve a change in your primary site location so you don’t need to come to this building every day and can go back home early. You’re supposed to be here for another few months, right?”
Oh. Wow. I wasn’t sure what to say. Of course, I would love to be closer to my mother and be able to help out with her recovery. It would take some of the pressure off my dad, who still worked full time and had taken weeks off already. But that would also mean leaving Holden. Even thinking of that made my heart squeeze inside my chest. “Can I think about it and get back to you?”
“Of course. You figure out what will make things easier for you.”
***
Later that night, Holden and I were out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. He looked so damn sexy in a shirt and tie. But something else about his outfit was distracting the heck out of me. I held up the menu, but didn’t really read any of the words.
“What are you going to get?” I asked.
