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“Yeah,” I muttered, staring out at what looked like our plane.
He handed me a donut hole out of the greasy bag he was holding. “This trip is supposed to be a good thing, you know. Why the fuck do you look so down right now?”
I popped it into my mouth. “No offense, but you wouldn’t understand.”
In all the years I’d known Monroe, he hadn’t been in a single relationship. I doubted he would do anything except chastise my ass if he knew the truth about what was bothering me.
“This business is a lot easier without girlfriends. You know that, right?”
I guess he wasn’t that clueless as to what was on my mind. My eyes darted over to him. “Thanks for the insight. I do know that, yes.”
“Out of all of us, I thought you’d be the last one to fall into that trap.”
“It’s not a trap if you want to be in it.” I sank into my chair and crossed my arms.
“This is the worst timing for you, Catalano. Everything is finally starting to happen for us. It would be one thing if you could have your cake and eat it, too—if you know what I’m saying. But what you’re doing—trying to be true to this chick when we very well could be hitting the road again very soon—is not gonna be sustainable. You’ll end up slipping with some groupie, and then you’ll feel like shit. It’s better to just end things before that has a chance to happen.”
I wanted to cuss him out for his assumption, but settled on a simple truth. “I would never cheat on her.”
He chewed. “Look, I’ve met her, obviously. She’s a good girl—smart. Not someone who’s gonna put up with our lifestyle anyway. So just put her out of her misery.”
His trite opinion of Lala irked me. She was a hell of a lot more than just “smart” and a “good girl.”
“What happened with her anyway?” he asked as if he truly cared, when I knew damn well he didn’t.
I wasn’t going to waste my energy venting to someone who would never understand. Monroe was a friend, but he was the wrong person for this conversation.
Our talk was interrupted when my phone rang.
Lala. I stood up, walking a few feet away, and answered. “Hey.”
“Hi. Are you all checked in yet?” she asked.
“Yup. Just waiting at the gate until we have to board. What’s up? You on the road?”
“No, I was just about to leave, but then I noticed something and had to call you first.” She paused. “Did you happen to read an email on my laptop that referred to a relocation to Philly?”
I cleared my throat. “I did.”
“I was afraid of that. You were acting strange this morning, and then I saw it opened on my computer after you left.” She sighed. “Holden, that wasn’t my idea. Dr. Reston noticed that I’d seemed off lately. When she found out about my mother’s health, she took it upon herself to look into a relocation option for me. It wasn’t something I asked for.”
Dragging a hand through my hair, I said, “Why didn’t you mention this to me?”
“It was barely an afterthought. I had no idea her offer was going to come to fruition.”
“I’m not gonna be the asshole who tries to convince you to stay in New York if what you need is to be closer to your mother right now, Laney.”
I’d called her Laney again. I’d done that at the restaurant the other night, too. It hadn’t been intentional. Apparently, it just came out when I was pissed.
“I feel like you still think this is something I instigated,” she said.
“I didn’t say that. But think about it. You leaving New York is inevitable anyway, right? I mean, if you haven’t been acting like yourself at work and people are noticing… Maybe you need a change.”
Maybe she did need to go back to Philly now in order for us to know whether this would work. “The sooner we get to what the true normal will be for us, the better, I think.”
Her voice cracked. “You mean me back in Philly all alone and you on the road?”
I looked around at the people passing me by. “Look where I am, sweetheart—at an airport instead of accompanying you home. Prioritizing the band and my music career. It’s unfair of me to try to get you to stay in New York when, for all I know, I could get called away again like this.”
She went silent.
“I’m sorry I didn’t admit I saw the email before I left,” I finally said. “I did jump to conclusions. But ultimately, I wanted you to be the one to tell me about it. It’s all good now.”
“All good?” she laughed angrily. “Why doesn’t it feel good?”
I closed my eyes and blew out a breath of frustration. All I wanted was to get the hell out of this airport and go back home to her.
