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After the meal, I found myself alone in the kitchen with Billie as I brought my dirty plate in.
“So…you said Lala already knew about your news?”
Billie cleared her throat. “She and I went to dinner recently, and I told her in secret. I had to tell someone. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”
“Well, she didn’t let on that she knew.”
“Yeah. I told her not to tell you guys because we wanted to tell you all together.”
Billie had given me a couple of odd looks tonight that told me she knew something about what was going on between Lala and me. I couldn’t help digging for info.
I rubbed my hands together. “Can I ask you something, Billie?”
She tilted her head. “Sure.”
“Am I the reason Lala decided not to come tonight?”
She bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know, Holden. That’s the truth. She told me she was working late. Whether that’s legit or not, I couldn’t say. She didn’t say anything about not coming because of you. And I have no reason not to believe the excuse she gave me.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Is there a reason she would be avoiding you?” She smirked.
“Be straight with me, Billie. How much do you know about what’s gone down between Lala and me lately?”
Billie looked out toward the entrance to the kitchen and lowered her voice. “Enough to know you might have a second career as a phone-sex operator.”
Well, alright, then. “I guess she didn’t hold back.”
She sighed. “Lala needed someone to talk to. She trusts that I won’t tell anyone, and I haven’t told Colby. I don’t want him to give you shit. The way I see it, this is between you and Lala. And you can trust me not to say anything. But part of the reason I’m telling you I know is that I want to talk to you. I’m curious about where your head is, Holden. Because this situation can’t be easy on you, either.”
“Does it matter where my head is?”
“Of course, it does. I care about both of you. And despite your reputation, I believe that deep down, you’re as soft as they come. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You mean really deep down I’m soft, right? Because there ain’t nothing on this surface that’s soft. Just to be clear.” I chuckled.
“Yes.” She laughed. “Of course. On the inside only.”
I let out a long, frustrated breath. “It’s been rough, honestly. I’ve crossed the line with her, put her in some tough spots because of my weakness—more than once.”
“You don’t put anyone anywhere they don’t want to be, Holden. She’s obviously smitten with you and struggling with her feelings, too.”
“My crush for her goes way back, and old habits die hard, I guess.” I paused. “But she’s engaged. I have to respect that.”
“What’s with the whispering?” Colby’s voice registered from behind me. “You’re not trying to hit on my wife like the old days, are ya?”
I crossed my arms. “We were just chatting about…life.”
“Life.” He glared. “Lala, you mean?”
Billie looked at me and mouthed, “I didn’t say anything.”
“What makes you think we’re talking about Lala?” I asked.
“Because I’m not dumb. I saw your face earlier when Billie said she wasn’t coming. And you’ve been avoiding me lately, which, when it comes to you, means there’s something you don’t wanna tell me. I know you, Holden.”
“Nothing is going on with Lala,” I insisted. “She’s still engaged. I’m still…me. And I’m moving on from any fucked-up feelings I might have for her. End of story.”
“Wow. Sounds so simple,” he taunted. “Which makes me suspicious. Sort of like the time I snuck over to Ryan’s house in the middle of the night to steal his bike as a prank. I happened to notice you and Lala on the roof. You made up some elaborate story when I called you out on it and expected me to believe it. Then you proceeded to avoid me for a week.” He laughed. “Just like back then, I think you’re full of shit now.”
I’d most definitely been avoiding Colby lately. Out of all of the guys, he’d always seemed able to see through me, even if I was putting on a front.
“Anyway…” I attempted to change the subject. “I’m really happy for you guys. I can’t wait to be an uncle again.”
“No more animal gifts, though, please,” Billie said.
“As long as Colby doesn’t piss me off, you won’t get any more surprises.” I winked. “Although, I hear capybaras make great household pets.”
“What am I missing in here?” Brayden said as he burst into the kitchen.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Damn, I was hoping you were whispering about Holden’s thing for Lala.”
Colby and Billie laughed, while I remained stone-faced.
“We were talking about the baby and future family pets,” I said.
“I can’t wait to see what he or she looks like. Hopefully the baby gets lucky and looks like Billie.” Brayden chuckled. “No offense, Colby.”
