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I’d known Holden practically all of my life, so I was pretty good at reading him. I could see his heart was in the right place. I just wasn’t so confident that he wouldn’t change his mind once the fun was over. Relationships weren’t easy, especially not ones where one of the people traveled as often as he did. Not to mention, he was a drummer, gorgeous, and women had always thrown themselves at him. I wanted more than anything to not have that doubt, but my inner self-protection mechanism was afraid. Holden Catalano was the one man who could swallow me whole and annihilate me if he spit me back out. I knew that in my bones.
But Holden was watching me and waiting for an actual answer. So I offered my best positive smile, even though my insides were laced with hesitancy. “Sure.”
***
“Oh my gosh,” I said, setting my keys on the kitchen counter the next evening when I arrived home. “I got nervous when I opened the door. I didn’t even realize it was you and thought maybe I’d walked into the wrong apartment.”
Holden was in the kitchen with three burners going on the stove. He had on a button-up cardigan sweater and slacks, and his always-wild hair was slicked back and neat. He also wore horn-rimmed glasses, though I didn’t think he had a vision deficiency. Basically, he was dressed like Warren.
He walked over and placed my slippers at my feet. “Good evening, darling.”
Darling? I squinted. “What are you up to, Catalano? Did you accidentally break something or buy some new sex toys you want to try out?”
He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “I’m not up to anything. Just wanted my lady to come home to a nice dinner after a long day of work.”
“Mmm-hmmm.”
Holden placed his hand at the small of my back and ushered me into the living room. “Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Would you like a glass of sauvignon blanc?”
“Sure.”
He disappeared and came back a minute later with wine. Handing it to me, he guided me to sit on the couch, then lifted my feet up onto the coffee table and slipped a pillow underneath. “Give me two minutes and I’ll join you. I just need to check on the chicken cordon bleu and saffron rice.”
I raised my brows. “Are you sure you don’t mean chicken nuggets and tater tots?”
Holden went into the kitchen and fiddled with the knobs on the stove before returning again. He took the seat at the other end of the couch, leaving a large gap between us. I might’ve been able to believe his wardrobe change was a new style, and that he was secretly a good cook, but Holden Catalano did not leave three feet of distance between us when we hadn’t seen each other all day.
“So, what do you think of the political turmoil going on in Bosnia?”
I laughed. “What?”
“You know, the threats of secession that are causing instability for the Balkan nation.”
I sipped my wine. “No, I don’t know. I guess I’m not up on my Balkan news.”
“That’s okay. What about the financial crisis? A pretty big hedge fund just warned that hyperinflation might lead to a major collapse of our economy.”
“Did you hit your head, Holden?”
“No, but I read The New York Times from cover to cover today.”
My brows raised. “From cover to cover? How long does that take?”
“About six hours.”
“Why on Earth did you spend six hours reading the Times?”
Holden shrugged. “You’re smart. I want to be able to discuss things with you.”
“You don’t need to do that. I like you the way you are, Holden.”
He shook his finger at me. “Ah… But that’s not true. You need more from me to see that I can be a good partner, and I want to show you I can give you what you need.”
Grinning, I set my wine down and crawled over to his side of the couch, lifting one knee over his legs to straddle him. Then I shimmied my hips up to sit on his crotch. “You already give me exactly what I need.”
Oddly, Holden didn’t take the bait. His face grew solemn. “I’m serious, Lala. I want to make you dinner, take you out, have meaningful conversations with you… I want to show you I can be more than just a good fuck.”
I shook my head. “That’s not all I think of you.”
He looked down at his lap where I was perched. “Sometimes it feels that way.”
I started to climb off, but Holden stopped me. “No, don’t go anywhere. Let’s talk.”
I shook my head again. “I’m sorry, Holden. I didn’t realize I was making you feel like a piece of meat. I feel bad.”
“Don’t feel bad. I understand why our relationship would be about sex. Hell, that’s the only man you’ve ever known me to be. But I meant it last night when I said I wanted more than that. I want a lot more, Lala.”
