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“Where is this going, Dianxia?” West demanded. Jin flinched in his arms, his mouth opening and closing, but there were no words coming out, which only made West grin. “I’m thirty-eight, Dianxia. I’m old enough that I’m not afraid to ask that question.” That statement just made him laugh at himself. Even holding Jin in his arms, feeling rather secure in his feelings and Jin’s, his heart was still racing a mile a minute. “Okay, maybe I’m a little scared, but I have enough sense to know that we need to talk about this before it goes any further. Or at least while I have sense in my head.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jin whispered, still looking shaken.
West pulled him close enough to brush a kiss across his forehead. He continued to hold him there, breathing in the soft scent of sandalwood that still clung to his skin. “You make me want things, Dianxia. Things I have never dared to want for myself.”
Long fingers found their way inside his jacket and smoothed up his back, expertly kneading tense muscles through his shirt. “What do you want?”
“I want to go to bed next to you each night and wake up wrapped in you each morning. I want the privilege of kissing you when the world isn’t watching. I want to be the person you lean on when your responsibilities weigh too heavily on your shoulders.” West’s lips brushed against Jin’s tender skin with each word he spoke, as if he could brand those wishes on his brain. That first day in the tea shop, he told himself that it would be enough to keep him safe. But safe would never be enough now.
“Yes, I want all of that, too. Please.”
West huffed a nearly silent laugh and pulled away so he could look Jin in the face. “Aside from whether that’s even technically possible, let’s consider whether either of us is in our right mind. Do you realize that we’ve only known each other for five days?”
“What? No! That’s impossible.”
West laughed louder this time as he grabbed Jin’s wrist and led him over to the stool he sat on each morning to get his hair fixed. “Do that math.”
Jin counted on his fingers before a heart-stopping gasp escaped him. It seemed like his legs gave out rather than him lowering himself onto the stool. West removed Jin’s jacket and tossed it onto another piece of furniture, then took off his tie.
“This can’t be right. It has to be longer. It feels like it’s been much, much longer,” Jin argued.
“I know, but we’ve been in one life-and-death situation after another. I’ve held you in my arms while we sat on the bathroom floor. You’ve told me about your worries and your fears. We’ve shared a bed.” West placed his hand under Jin’s chin and tilted his head so their eyes could meet. “I sucked your dick.” That got the lovely flush back in his face, chasing away the shocked paleness. “It makes it feel like we know each other better than we do.”
Jin moved his chin from West’s hold but still glared at his reflection in the mirror in front of them. “We do know each other.” West only had to lift one questioning eyebrow for Jin to sigh. “Fine. I don’t know details, but I want to know. I feel like I know your soul. I know that you’re a good, honorable person, and that’s the person I want to keep with me forever.”
Yeah, he felt the same way about Jin.
“So, you’re saying this is more than sex and fun for you?” West asked, only half teasing him.
Jin twisted, his hands grabbing West’s hips. “Yes! Definitely! Absolutely!” His face had clouded when West snagged another deep but quick kiss. He could hear the thoughts rushing into Jin’s head, wondering if West had thought this was only strings-free sex.
“Good,” West hummed against his mouth. “It’s more for me, too.”
“I want to keep you forever,” Jin murmured.
Those words wrapped West’s heart and squeezed it tight. But those words also came with thorns. What did forever even look like for them?
Holding on to his small smile, West straightened and urged Jin to turn to face the mirror. This was another thing he dreamed of doing. It had become a near obsession ever since he’d helped a sleepy Jin take down his topknot. He wanted to be the one at the end of each night who removed the xiaoguan and let all that silken hair fall. He longed to run his fingers through it, massaging Jin’s scalp while watching as the expression of bliss filled his face.
Tonight, he was fulfilling this tiny wish.
With extreme care, he pulled out a pin and lifted the xiaoguan free, setting it on the table in front of the prince. He then began feeling around for the other pins that were used to hold everything in place.
